Today had been rough. I woke up late for school, I had an important test in algebra, history, and english, and JJ got so drunk last night he wouldn't wake up this morning.
Thankfully, school was over and we got to go back to the chateau. John B was driving and I was sitting shotgun. Kie and Pope were talking about whatever they talk about in the back. Other than that, we drove home in silence.
We pulled into the driveway overgrown with plants and weeds, and I got out of the Twinkie and marched up the stairs and right to the spare room that JJ and I share. He was watching a movie on the TV when I flopped face first on the bed.
"Hey, you. Bad day?" He asked me, already knowing about my crap day just by my body language. I nodded into my pillow and layed limp while he laughed at me. "I'm sorry, baby. Do you wanna talk about it?" He suggested.
I sat up and he opened his arms so I could snuggle into him.
"I was late, had some really important tests that I definitely didn't do well on, and you weren't there." I pouted. "I'm here now, so let's finish this movie, cuddle, and go to sleep." We layed back onto our bed and did exactly as he said.
~
The next morning, I was still in a pretty bad mood from the day before. I felt like anything could set me off and I really didn't want to go to school today. But, I got my ass up and now I'm in algebra learning about the quadratic formula.
That's when I felt like I couldn't breathe and my hands started trembling. I raised my hand when my teacher turned around.
"C-Can I use the restroom?" My voice got caught in my throat as I felt my breaths come in short gasps.
"Sure." She said and turned around to continue teaching. I got up and quickly headed to the restroom. I covered my mouth with my shirt to not make as much noise. Tears welled in my eyes when I finally reached the ladies' room. I took the first stall and sat on the toilet and sobbed.
I gasped for breath and wheezed as tears fell freely down my cheeks. I couldn't breathe. I needed JJ. I reached for my phone in my pocket and quickly texted him. I put my hands to my face in attempt to wipe my tears, but it didn't help. A few minutes later, I heard the door open and I looked down to see JJ crawling under my stall.
"Hey, it's okay. It's okay." He comforted me. He opened his arms for me to take. JJ picked me up and turned us so he was sitting on the toilet, and me in his lap.
"Shh. Breathe. Deep breath. I'm right here." JJ rubbed my back which helped me to take one deep breath. It was choked and in pieces, but a deep breath nonetheless. "Good. Think you can take another one, princess?" His other hand moved to my hair to play with it.
I nodded and took another breath. This went on for a couple minutes before I was finally calmed down.
"Good job, baby. You did so good. I'm right here if you need to talk to me." JJ held me a bit closer in his touch.
Panic attacks are scary, and sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. But, JJ makes it just a bit less scary, and he makes me breathe easier.
