God Dammit: The Snake and the Fox

Chapter Twenty Three

Snake's POV:

I laid in my cot staring up at the bunk above me. I had given up on ever finding a comfortable position to sleep in and instead decided to think. For the first time in a long time, I just lay here and thought. Thought about everything: Sophi, Battlestar, jail. Everything that had happened. But mostly I thought back to the visitation yesterday.

During our conversation Sophi had broken down into tears and I couldn't get that image out of my head. The image of her crying over something that I had did. I had made the girl I loved so miserable and it made me sick to my stomach.

When I walked in to the visitation, I have to be honest, I didn't recognize her. It had been about two months since she had come to a visitation. Her face was sunken in, she had bags under her eyes. She clearly was exhausted and I couldn't blame her. She told me she worked 35 hours at both jobs. I didn't know how she did it but it was taking its toll on her. She had lost SO much weight.

Before I had gone in she had some meat on her bones, beautiful curves. And a phenomenal ass. But now she was practically skin and bones. She had to have lost 60 pounds easily. I groaned mentally slapping myself. How could I have done this to her and how could I not have noticed?

I am literally the shittiest person in the world. In a way I couldn't blame her for wanting to leaving and losing feelings for me. Hell, I'm losing respect for me. But a very selfish part of me wanted her to stay. To stay and give me a chance.

When she left, we were both on the verge of a break down. Her words still stuck out clearly in my head:

"I just can't tell you I love you any more Snake," her voice was breaking. I felt my throat closing up thinking about it and I swallowed hard.

"It just isn't fair for me to say it if I'm not sure I still feel it. I know I care but I don't know if I'm in love with you still."

With a very poor attempt at keeping myself together and not crying in front of her, I practically begged her to give me the last six months of my sentence. To just give me that time to make her fall in love with me again. And if I couldn't do it, I would let her walk away. It would kill me inside but I would rather her be happy than force her to stay with me.

When she left, I held her close feeling her body shake as she sobbed into my shoulder before capturing her lips in a gentle kiss. I rolled over on my cot, crossing my arms. I closed my eyes, swallowing again trying to rid myself of the lump still there. As I blinked away the tears, I let out a shallow breath. making sure I didn't bring any attention from my roommate. I closed my eyes and settled into a restless sleep, hoping that all I had planned would work.