Killed for the love I didn't show

Killed

I could tell you what set me off that day, or I could explain my emotions. The former is probably easier to explain, but both are important. My name is Shade, formally Blake. Now, about the day I lost it on my sweet charge. I wish I could have remembered how young and sweet he truly was, before I had blindly attacked the poor child. At the moment I am staring down into a casket at his pale face, framed by his long black hair that I had planned on cutting soon, wishing I could hear his high pitched laugh, or see his sparkling olive green eyes full of life, but all I see is scarred, ghostly pale skin, and a small, limp, lifeless, body. I feel a sharp pain in my back and turn my head to see his boyfriend had stabbed me. I hardly care if I live or die anymore, but I still half shift, so it goes through me. "I don't know why you're here, Shaded." 

"I'm only here to pay my respects to Harry, Jeffrey. Same as everyone else." He went away, muttering to himself and I felt a clawed hand settle on my shoulder. 

"It's not your fault, Shade." 

"How is it not my fault? I killed him." Sick of the comfort I had been given all day from everyone (other than Jeffery of course), I shifted home. I curled up on my bed. Thinking. Remembering.

"Shade! It's not fair!" 

"Harry, I said no. Jeffery cannot stay over." 

"I fucking hate you!" 

Shade tucked some of his imperfect hair behind his ear. "No you don't. You're only saying that because you're upset with me and are trying to vent the anger you feel." Harry screamed and flipped him off. Shade's anger was slowly growing, his white eye was already black. 

"I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU!" 

Having had enough, Dark Shade pulled out his silver razor and grabbed Harry by the wrist. "You know what? I hate you too, with every fiber of my being. I wish you were dead. Then I wouldn't have to deal with you and your goddamn boyfriend." 

Harry's eyes were huge and terrified. "Sh-Shade! I didn't mean it! P-please! Don't hurt me!" Ha! He'd never really hurt me! 

"Wouldn't hurt you, huh?" In one quick motion, Shade had sliced half way up his arm. 

"A-aaah! Sh-Shade! No! Please!" 

Actual fear shone in his eyes and Shade smiled. "Tooold yoooou."

Shade sighed and flipped over. He hated this overwhelming feeling of guilt. He would end it if it weren't for his other charge and husband. "I'm so sorry, child..." 

Shut up, Shade....I know you are. Shade glanced around and smiled slightly when he saw a small shimmering figure in a corner. He soon fell asleep, the shimmering figure still there, waiting for him to rest. Goodbye, Shade....I love you....

A/N: Goddammit I'm crying. I had a dream like this and had to make it into a story.

Update: Still sad, but terribly written. I tried to doctor it up a bit.