Today I decided that I was going to stay in the jail cell until Mrs. Wang a.k.a my therapist comes Just incase I don't get out in time to raise you imma write you letters.. I told my belly. I really feel like I should document my pregnancy...
Dear my lil one, I haven't thought of any names for you yet maybe something with Jodie's name or mine but imma ask him.. he prolly gonna wanna name you after him JJ but I want you to have your own identity I'm so happy to become this person You and God is shaping me to be... last night was the first night I felt you active moving around I sat there and stared until you stopped.. well when you are older hopefully you get to read these letters because they are for you.
For Your Eyes only: ❤️
I haven't talked with Jaylyn sense she told me about Jodie being her child's father. I mean I do care but imma show her I don't. Visitation was coming up where our families can see our progress and talk but only for 5 hours.. still I was anxious and excited anyway... I was hoping my mother and Jodie come cause soon as I tell him that that girl is delusional he will agree and if he came it would mean the world to me..
after therapy session we talked about my feelings the baby and what went down in the cafeteria. Miss angela was there and told me to ignore it. I had class to go to in the B building up the stairs. They took the chains off me and I headed to world history with Kior. "Alright class we are learning about Columbus and how he sailed. "Columbus ain't real one of the girls in the back said. My teacher was skinny tall white with blonde hair. Soon then one of the child Nannie's came in with jaylyn son screaming telling her that he started having a seizure. Jaylyn quickly jumped up holding him yelling call 911... "Ahkeem mommy right here baby !! She kept saying over and over.. what happened to him she yelled at the nanny!! "He was eating a carrot and I thought he was choking at first but then it became a gag. Miss angela rushed in the class escorting Jaylyn and her son ahkeem out of the class.We heard the paramedics outside ... I started to feel bad for her.. school was cancelled for the rest of day.. I silently said a prayer for her.. No wonder what she said to me I don't what I woulda did if I was in her position.
Later that night it was 8:30pm and Jaylyn walked in with chains on her feet as she carried her son ahkeem in the blue carseat.. he was sleeping in monkey all over suit looking just like her. I did not see any resemblance of Jodie ... like girl please as if he ever would mess with you. I eavesdropped the conversation between her and the guard. "Is he okay the gaurd asked politely. "She nodded her head slowly ... the doctor said the he didn't have a seizure he had thick sized carrot stuck down his throat and he couldn't breathe ... he's only 5 months he's not ready for that type of food yet Yk... but thanks for asking it's time to get him to bed.. she walked down the hallway to her room.. Kior was standing there looking worried. Soon then lights were out.
Today was Friday of August and we had an upcoming Visitation day and Kior was up earlier then usual cleaning her area. "Girl I'm so excited to see my baby daddy and my grandpa...!!! "I can tell I told her. Some of the girls was nervous cause they didn't know if they peoples was coming to visit. Some of them had longer sentences and would be moved to the main building after their child turn one.. I turned over unsure how this day is gonna turn out. Soon then our cell opened up... it was breakfast time... The food here was way better then what they had in the main building.. I got apples and grapes with a small orange juice. We can't eat in our rooms but we can have snacks. I sat down at the table while the other moms and Nannie's were getting dressed. They canceled school today because of it. I put my dreads up in a high ponytail revealing a tattoo that said loyalty, me Barbie, Brandon and Jodie got a year ago... I was ok looking I guess. A couple hours later families started to arrive... and it was getting packed.. I kinda stayed in my room until I saw my mother outside walking with my sister and Jodie... I immediately felt Nervous it's been a month sense I seen them. "Awww look at my baby my momma said hugging me tight ouuu girl I miss you so much... "and the belly poking out Lanie said hugging me next.. Jodie looked good ... but for who though... He gave me a long hug and all of us sat at the table... I noticed Jodie was staring at me... and I thought to myself ummm why you starin so hard... So I have some news about the baby... I told them "what my mom sounded nervous... "it's a boy. "Mhmm I knew I was gonna have a son... Jodie said hugging me again.. "a boy have you thought of names yet ?
Nooo idk what to name him. Miss Angela came talking with my mom and sister and went to show them how my progress is doing. Me and Jodie was left on the bench. He wore a green beenie and he had a eyebrow piercing. So how's life treating you. I asked him... "I mean it's ight I'm working at the car shop.. and hanging with my cousins... I stared at him for a moment. "Whaaa he said smiling... "what's going on I asked him... "nun I just said I'm working at the car shop.. "Jodie you finna piss me off cause I know when you act all distant and shy you're hiding something..."we should name my baby Jodie Junior ... he said laughing ... he always knew how to get under my skin. "You look different I told him... "I mean I think I look the same.... "nahh you lost some weight. So this girl name Jaylyn that's in here said that your the father of her son. I started laughing hard. "Jaylyn ? I haven't spoken to her sense last year he said looking up. "Where you hear that from? Umm Jaylyn ... "ohhhh I forgot she was here and thats mad weird I never did nun with that girl I swearrr!! "And !! I heard about the girl Yahja .. who she is? "Man I knew her sense I was lil kid.. and my cousins came down here with her she be hangin with the homies and such.. I nodded my headed slowly .. Okay Jodie I tried pushing back the tears and I got up slowly... "whaaa ma come here" "stop talking to me because I know your lying I know we not in a "relationship" but your not finna sit here and front in my face... "okay ninnaaa !! We went to one party that was it I swear... like you said we not in a relationship... "I know that but I'm having your baby!! Like seriously you need to be honest and have some sort of communication skills. Alright alright... he said following me. My mother was still talking with miss Angela. Kior was with her grandpa and Darrien, he was light skin with dreads and had a sleeve tatted up his arm. I soon then saw Jaylyn walk up her son. "Jodieee!! Can I talk to you for a Second she said eyeing me. They walked away and she hugged him. I'm not finna fight over no boy I'm too pregnant and lazy to do that I whispered to myself. I felt so worthless and not important and I know everything is not about me but I wish I could still get recognition. "Okay Ari be good and take care of my grandbaby my mother said hugging me tight. "Bye sis she gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I know you is not mad at me... Jodie said with a smile it was hard not being mad at him because I loved him... What was happening. "Give me hug ninaaaa! I smiled a lil... "mhm I know you love me I love you more he whispered in my ear.. he bent down and kiss my belly. "Ight son imma be back soon for you .. take care of him ma... Free you the long wayyyy!! He said. he gave me one last hug and they were off...
