Down The Hall

Chapter Seven

The soft light peeking in from the kitchen window made it known that it was time to clean up. Everyone, besides Henry, was sitting around the table chatting and laughing it up. Dad who sat across the table beside Bradly genuinely looked happy to be with people who he could come home and communicate with.

I went around the table and picked up everyone's plates to bring to the sink. This has been a natural duty every time after dinner. At first, Bradly said to leave it for the other kids to do, while Kendall said I didn't have to do them and I should just leave them for her to do. After ignoring their very considerate protests they soon became used to me cleaning and putting them up.

I put the stopper into the sink and turned on the hot water to fill it. While I waited I checked my phone to see a message from Sarah.

In all caps, it read, BEACH PARTYYYY!! Tonight you, me, Jada, Tyler, and hotties. Are you going??

I twiddled my fingers over the keyboard in excitement. Just as I was about to type, YESSS, I thought about what my dad would say. I looked over my shoulder and at the lively table where he sat. He's in a good position, I'm in a good position, so he might actually say yes to me this time.

Instead, I typed, Give me an hour to get back to you ;). I put the phone down, put some dish soap into the water, and submerged the dishes.

***

Stood still at dads door I felt just as I did when I was 10 asking to go spend the night at a friend's house. Or when I was 13 asking if I could go to a birthday party. These small interactions with him filled me with worries and doubts. All those times he said no, but I still stood here asking him, trying to work up the courage to go in. I rolled my shoulders back and cracked my neck before knocking on his door and opening it.

His room was about the same as mine, only his consisted of a bathroom instead of a balcony and a skylight instead of a vanity mirror. Ever since we got here he hasn't been in my room and I haven't been in his. It was just like it was back home. He didn't bother me and in return, I didn't bother him.

"What is it?" He asked looking over the papers in his hands. There were papers of all sorts scrawled out over his bed consuming it whole.

"Just wanted to see what you were doing."

I was stalling. Easing my way to the question.

"Paperwork."

"Yeah, I can see that," I let out an awkward laugh, going to the end of his bed.

He dropped his papers onto the bed and looked over at me, waiting for me to say something. He knew what I was doing.

"How did your-,"

"Lucy," he interrupted me, stroking his hairy chin in annoyance.

I felt my chest tighten and my mind went blank from him saying my name. He was so different to be around when alone. I almost forgot what it felt like.

"I just wanted to ask you if I can like, go out with a friend tonight. She is really nice and sweet and responsible. She really wants me to go but I said I had to ask you first..," I trailed off adding as much information as I possibly could trying to get him to trust me.

When I finished the room fell silent. The only noise that could be heard was the sound of my fingers cracking from behind my back in anticipation. He just sat there looking at me and looking at me and looking at me, until he finally said it.

"No."

The same disappointment that I felt from all of my other past attempts shot through my heart like a bullet from his gun. All the build-up to come in here waisted. The courage it took me was just another one of his papers. I couldn't even be disappointed anymore or get upset. Instead, I felt resentful.

"Why not?" I whined, letting my emotions take over my judgment.

"Because I said so."

"But that's not even an answer. Why can't I go?" I said getting a little loud.

"Talk to me like that again and you will never go anywhere." He threw his covers off of him, causing some papers to slide off in the process.

"You already don't let me go anywhere. And I don't do anything to you for you not to let me go. I just want to go and you can't even give a rea-,"

"LUCY, ENOUGH."

I flinched at the words, stumbling a couple of steps back to the doorway. Tears formed in my eyes and my teeth pushed hard onto each other. My eyelids sat open in fear of them closing and ultimately giving him the satisfaction of making me cry. It wasn't him screaming at me that made my eyes sweat but the fact that I have been told no, over and over and over again. I was exhausted.

I turned to the door slamming it on the way out hoping he could hear how livid I was with his answer. I swiftly made my way back to my room before I was bumped into by someone coming through the hall.

The impact was enough to make the tears trickle down my face and a whimper come out of my mouth. I quickly moved my hand to wipe them up but it was caught before I could. With my head down I could still tell who it was holding onto me. His scent was like a cool sea breeze mixed with freshly picked honeysuckle.

I tried to shake Henry off my wrist but his grip just tightened even more. All I wanted to do was run to my room and wipe these salty tears from off my lips and cheeks.

"Let go," I pleaded, trying to jerk away. "Please."

Just as I said it he gently let go. I took this as my chance to get away before he could do anything else.

Finally, in my room, I made my way over to the mirror checking to see how bad it was. Tear streams could be seen streaking my face, making the situation look worse than it really was. My bluish-green eyes started to form more tears by looking at my reflection. I wiped them away before they could and flopped down onto my bed.

I didn't feel anything now. No anger, no sadness, no resentment. Not feeling anything almost made me feel worse. Did I do something? Why is it always me? I hate this so much.

Ding.

Shit, I forgot all about Sarah. I pulled out my phone and stared at her message. Why was it so easy for her but so hard for me?

Soooo are you coming or not?

I hesitated answering in worry of letting her down. This isn't fair to her. This isn't fair to me. Am I just supposed to cancel when she was so excited about me going?

I thought about what to text her for the next minute. I have to give her a reason why but I don't have a reason why. I have to tell her sorry but it's not even my fault. I wish I could be more like Henry. I could just go out and not care about it. Have fun without worrying about the consequences. I want to be like Henry.

Finally, I thought of what to text.

"I can't see the hotties from home can I."