Honest; that’s the one thing I’ve always had trouble being.
That’s not true, you’re plenty honest with me-too honest.
Well, it really isn’t my choice with you, no I have no choice but to be COMPLETELY honest.
Well sweetie, you had to be honest with someone and who better than with yourself? Don’t look at me that way!
Then leave me alone!
And do you think I want to be here? Believe me I’d rather be with anyone else.
Then go ahead, leave!
Awe, have I made the poor girl upset? Oh wah wah, your life is so hard, no one wants to be with you, not even yourself.
Why are so mean to me?
Why are you mean to the world, huh? Is it because no one loves you?
You’re wrong! Someone does love me!
Oh you mean like the way you swore you were loved before? Yeah some love. Going around repopulating the earth with anything that can reproduce. Well anything but you.
They were a mistake! They didn’t love....
Oh but this person does? Ha! Don’t make me laugh! How can you expect anyone to love you when you don’t even love yourself!
…......
Speechless? Well I’ve got plenty to say.
How can anyone love me? When I’m....me.
Ugh, don’t make me go through this again. You’re so dramatic...and pathetic. Always wanting your pity party.
I hate pity!
So you say. However, let’s look at the facts. You’re cold hearted. You’re possessive. You’re not really physically appealing. Your personality stinks. You’re self centered. You think sleeping with someone is the answer to everything but really you’re all talk; you’d never have the courage to do anything because you don’t want to admit to yourself that you can really sleep with someone and think nothing of it. Because it’s suppose to feel like “making love”. Because when someone means nothing to you, their entire being is nothing to you. You’ll fight long and hard for someone you care about but once you give up, that’s it, they are nothing more than a spec of dust on earth; so easily disposable. Which is why you use people. They mean nothing to you, they are there for your use, so you think. You push people away when they’re too close yet cling on to them with dear life when they wish to keep you at a distance. You’re not special in anyway. You’re gullible. You want someone to see past your imperfections when you’re not willing to even face them. Oh you’re also creepy. You’re a stalker. You’re scared of the world because you think everyone is out to hurt you. You try to convince yourself that love exist for you but you “know” there isn’t. You give people a reason to walk away. You just gave someone else a reason to walk away! Pretending to be happy. Pretending it was all enough when you knew that it wasn’t. Not even close. You ask too much of people but expect that no one ask anything of you. You’re understanding? Pft! Yeah right, you’re not the one dealing with what goes in your sick twisted little mind!
You make me sound like a monster....
Because you are a monster.
I’m not a monster!
Oh love but you are. Everyone is, to an extent. Do you know why people love Dexter so much? He's a serial killer for crying out loud! How can people love a serial killer?
Because he is an interesting character.
No because he thinks he is undeserving of love when he can easily be considered a good person. Okay, maybe not the best person because he still kills people but we all have our dirty little secrets do we not? He doesn’t stop and see that in that empty hollow shell where his heart should be is something good, mixed with bad and imperfections. You know what that’s called? Being human. Everyone has their dark secrets. Everyone has their flaws. You must accept that you are you, that there is someone that’s going to love you for you; you aren’t a bad person, you are a person. A normal human being. Can you accept that?
I don’t know, can I? And why are you being encouraging all of a sudden, I thought you hated me?
Of course I hate you love; I can’t love you until you love yourself.
Can I love myself?
I don’t know can you?
I don’t know, maybe?
Well it is time to make a choice; you don’t have much time left in this place, the time to leave is arriving. Learning to love yourself might take time, time you don’t have.
So then why start at all?
Because someone out there is waiting to love you as well. You don’t want to keep them waiting. So are you in?
I’m in.
We don’t know what life has in store for us. Perhaps our happily ever is right in front of us. They say honesty is key but it’s a key I don’t posses. A new adventure awaits me and soon enough it will start and who I am now will either be who I still am in a few months or a distant memory. The question is, how do you wish to spend this time? I’m a lot of trouble but I promise I’m worth it because with all bad there is good as well.
What was that? Say it again.
I’m worth it.
Say it again! This time, say it like you mean it!
I promise you, I am worth it.
