A one shot story of mine.
It's been 8 months since I knew about your existence. I was on my 10th grade while you were on your 11th grade. You goes to another school when you've reach your senior high and I stayed on our old school, still on my junior high journey. We were schoolmates but since I am not fond on friending people, I didn't had the chance to meet you but you said you already saw me. I didn't know you yet until I chat you on your facebook account.
It was new year eve when you've got a message from me, greeting you a happy new year. I didn't chat you to flirt with you but to let you know, that we became friends since that day. You said you are just about to chat me but i got ahead of you. I just reacted to your last chat not because I don't want to talk to you but because I don't know what to say anymore. But I actually kinda don't want to talk to you that time coz I am afraid I might get attached haha.
You keep on reacting to my posts and myday's, that simple gesture actually melt my heart.
After two days, you chatted me again asking some staff to get to know me. And of course, since we're already friends. I was just keep on replying and replying and replying until our conversation continues.
You were fun to talk with because of your humor that matches mine. You also had so many stories to tell me that I really enjoyed so much.
We were talking via video call and I must say you're so handsome despite having the flaws that you are ashamed of. You are too kind. You have a good personality and you really are handsome.
I tried my best to remind you everyday that you are handsome but I was scared that I didn't do well.
The day comes... I got attached to you.
Every time we talk, I got attached more and more.
You confessed but I was shy to admit it to myself that I already loved you. I knew you felt that I liked you already so you waited until I answered your‘i love you’ to my ‘i love you too.’
We've became M.U. We loved each other that time. I got so so attached that I can't start a day without talking to you. You are a green flag kind of a man and I was so happy I met you, I'm glad I greeted you because the thought came into my mind one time. What if I did not greet you that new year eve? Do you think we can still talk like this?
We stayed as M.U, without label to be specific because I was so scared to give a commitment. I told myself that in your birthday, we can be girlfriend and boyfriend troupe but of course , that'll never happen anymore.
We once saw each other when you came into my school. You came because of the requirements you needed and not because you want to see me but still, I was so happy to see you yet sad because we don't had enough time to talk to each other coz I had to go home early.
Our talking continues. The attachment continues. Our love continues.
But then, May came. When everything fall into it's places.
You've been busy because of your training and I'd tried to understand that. We don't talk always anymore like we used to and I understand that. And sometimes, we never talked at all and I understand that.
But it hurts that you said that I can't understand you. Do you think I will wait for you if I can't understand you? Yes. Sometimes I feel sulking but I can cry.
You said you hate how I can't express my feelings to you. That I can't share my problems to you and I am sorry for that. I don't know how. I'm used to taking care of my own problems and feel like I don't need anybody because I had lost my trust to the people around me.
But I was trying... You knew I was trying to express myself. Baby step it is, but atleast I am trying.
Then your matched in archery came. I am happy for you and silently supporting you because I can't come coz the venue is too far and you knew my parents were strict.
The match ended and you received 5 medals. I was so proud of you that time.
But then again, you got cold. Funny it is.
April came, you confessed that you like someone already. That you don't love me anymore and such reasons.
I was hurt. So much hurt. By then, I hated April. I became someone I can't believe I will be. I got a depression because of so much sadness and loneliness. I had no one to tell that problem. I can't feel myself that time. I felt so wrecked and wearied.
Every night I cried myself to sleep, even in school bathroom, I can't stop my tears from falling and everywhere I go, my tears will fall, good thing I am good at holding back my tears.
I became silent to the point that I lost friends.
Isn't just so funny? We used to be inlove then suddenly we ended like that.
At first, I blamed you but then, I realized you are not at fault.
And I want to thank you for loving me and for leaving me.
Thank you for loving me. I felt special the way you treated me before. I have never experienced that kind of treatment to anyone but you. Thank you to let me experience the kind of love, only the man can give. Thank you for being my best friend and almost-boyfriend.
And also thank you for leaving me, I had time to be myself. I had time to completely fix myself. I had time to realized that I do not need a man in my life, myself is enough.
I should love myself more.
I am also so happy for you and her. Please tbe kind to each other. I am rooting for the both of you.
Thank you and sorry.
I am so happy for you. To your small or big accomplishments in life. I will always be your silent support.
