s e v e n t e e n

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The girls walk one way, and I walk the other

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The girls walk one way, and I walk the other. Coach pulled Cal to the side as we were walking out, so I offered to take his ticket to the valet to get his car. There is a line, so I watch Camryn and Alyssa stop at the nearest bus stop to wait. We should just be giving them a ride back. We're all going to the same place, but it's not my car so I won't offer.

I'm still waiting when Cal comes out, shoving his shoulder into mine. "Stop eye fucking my sister." I didn't even realize I was still watching them.

"Nine, it's not like that."

"I saw you looking at her all night. What the fuck was that?"

It takes effort to bite back a smile thinking back on the pissy look Camryn was giving towards the end. I didn't think anyone else noticed.

"To be fair Nine, you were eye fucking her roommate."

"That's a little different, asshole."

"Well I was just giving you a chance with her, man," I shrug.

Cal snorts, "Mhmm, like Allison would choose you." I shake my head at how stupid he is.

"Why don't you go ask Alyssa and we'll find out?" I may not care much for details when it comes to girls, but I can at least try to remember their names.

Cal's face is still twisted when his car finally arrives. I can't tell if it's about his sister, but I'm not about to pry. I pull my phone out as soon as we're in the car to kill time. As soon as I type in my code, I have a message waiting in my family's group chat.

Mama: Nana made my favorites tonight since I won't feel like eating after tomorrow.

Below the message is a picture of my family at the dinner table, my mom's arm outstretched to make sure she got everyone on the small screen. I can't see it all, but if it's her favorites I can only assume the table is filled with fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans. I can't help but to study her face though, and the color in it.

Her appetite won't be the only thing that will be changed after tomorrow.

She's always been independent. She could never rely on our dad. She kept a lot from us last time, but it made sense. We were still just kids. I was twelve, and Zoey was only seven. Now, I'm an adult who should be there helping out. Instead I'm twelve hundred miles away and warming the fucking bench. I exit out of the message without replying.

I think about the last time again. How weak she was after the first few rounds of chemo. She couldn't even get out of bed most days. I wonder if it will happen again.

I let out a steady breath and pulled the message thread back up. I remind them that I love them while reminding myself that the only reason I'm still here is to hopefully play football again soon. Then I can be draft eligible and never have to worry about who takes care of who again.

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