Camryn Quinn is finally getting what she wants...sort of. Moving into a dorm and away from her not so supportive father is a good first step, but like everything with him, it comes with strings. She must attend the college of his choosing for at lea...
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I beat Camryn to our next session. I had to skip out on my breakfast sandwich, but after hearing Cal's offer I needed to be on full alert with her. If her brother is willing to pay me to give him information about her, I need some information of my own. I need to know what I'm getting myself into if I agree to work with him.
I do a quick google search of problems that girls can have while I wait. It only gives me a list about dating, friendship, and menstruation before I give up. Camryn walks in a second later.
She has headphones in and a baseball cap pulled so far over her eyes that I can't see them. She's looking down at her phone, but goes stiff when she finally sees me.
Maybe that's the problem he mentioned. She scares easily.
She doesn't say a word and exits the room, closing the door completely before walking through it again five seconds later. I just sit and watch it all unfold, trying to pinpoint what's so wrong with her.
"Nope," she says, sitting her things down on the table. "Right room."
I just keep watching her, waiting for her to say more. Nothing on the surface is out of the ordinary. When I said she was average looking I only meant that she doesn't do anything to stand out, not like other girls. Her clothes are plain and even a little worn, her converse are far from new. Her curls are fuzzy and coming uncoiled. But it's hard to ignore the deep blue color of her eyes, or the fullness of her lips. Especially when they're being pursued and she's staring like she wants me dead.
I narrow my own eyes as I say, "You good?"
"Now that I'm picturing how I'm going to kick you in the balls if you keep staring at me like that, just peachy." She smiles as I wince, but continues. "Now can we get started or do you need me to call my doctor so she can tell you just how fine I am?"
I'm half tempted to say yes, because maybe the problem is medical and her doctor could clear it up and answer my questions. Instead I just nod and pull out my book flipping back to the neon orange page tab she made me put there during our last session.
"Thank Jesus," she says under her breath. I do my work like she asks, but I can't help but watch her throughout the session like something will jump out at me the longer I stare.
🏈🏈🏈
My mom picks up on the first ring. "I was starting to think you forgot about me!" she whines.
"Hi mama." It comes out with a laugh.
"It's like I have to be dying or something to get your attention!" The joke isn't even remotely funny, but keeping things light is her way of dealing with the bullshit hand she's been dealt. "I've been busy." I start and quickly add, "But never too busy for you. Sorry I haven't called." She forgives me, but only after I give a full update on everything that's happened since we last talked. We swap doctor updates, my knee getting better with each therapy appointment, her prognosis not so much. At least her first few chemo sessions weren't too bad.
The conversation gets off track when I mention tutoring and Camryn. "The coach's daughter?!" she squeals. "This is something straight out of one of my favorite romcoms!"
"Relax. I can barely make it through two hours without her threatening to hurt me. Nothing romantic, or funny about it." But thinking of Camryn also makes me think of Cal's offer. The real reason I wanted to talk to my mom.
"So Ma, tell me about the trial drug they want to use." The first time she mentioned it, she quickly glazed over it knowing that we were in no position to pay for it. She does the same now, moving on to ask about any other girls I might be dating because she'd like to actually meet one of them before she dies.
I interrupted her, "What if I told you that I found a way to pay for it? A friend is willing to loan me the money." The lie burns my tongue coming out. I've only ever lied to my mom when absolutely necessary. She wouldn't understand the truth, and honestly I don't feel like discussing Camryn any more.
"What do you mean a loan? Taylor, that is too much money. You should never get yourself in that much debt."
"What else can we do?" I ask as she begins to say, "I will do this chemo and go from there."
"Please... Just let me do this for you." It's a plea, one that's met with a long silence.
I haven't even agreed to help Cal, but seeing her face again changes things. Even through the phone camera I can see how weak she already looks. I push away the memories of before. Her puffy and inflamed skin, and the fluid that built up in her arms and legs. The little bit of her glow that seemed to fade every day. How she got to a point where she had to use a wheelchair because her body was too exhausted from the treatment. "I need to know we've tried everything. If you start it and it's worse than the last treatment you say the word and it's done. Please. We have to try." The tears I want to cry begin streaming down her face. She nods, a silent agreement.
"Just be careful, Tay. Don't do something you'll regret."
How would I regret giving her something that could make her get better? What else am I supposed to do? According to her doctors, I should be picturing a world without her in it. Her chance of survival is already so low, but I won't do it. Instead I remind her that I love her, and I'll always do whatever I have to for her and Zoey. It's the one thing I never want her to forget.
