Dear Diary

1. To A Very New Fresh Start

10/14/23

Dear Diary,

This is to a new fresh start in life and a fresh new start as a full adult. So it's supposed to rain today and I'm still very sick. I can't really breathe, so much mucus. I blow my nose and my head is killing me, I cough so hard that my stomach is so sore. We think I have Pneumonia which is just what I fucking need to end being 19 and start off being 20. I am so sleepy but I can't breathe at all. Brewer won't be back until Monday and honestly I fucking miss her. I don't want to be a bother in her life but she helps me with things somewhat. Me and mama has been fighting more lately just because I want to try helping Leslie but he has to go to Summer school already and he automatically failed 3rd grade and it's only OCTOBER! He has a 1st almost Kindergarten levels. I don't know what else to do, I'm only good at so little in school and that's like Spelling.

10/15/23

Dear Diary,

My sister, brother in law, and niece left to go back home. I plan on moving out soon because Harper is killing me and I literally mean it. He stresses me so bad I have nonstop panic attacks and I shit blood. It's hard to describe now. I'm still pretty sick maybe trying to get better but I still feel like death. My birthday wasn't really the best and I kinda missed my dad also.

10/16/23

Dear Diary,

I went to MedExpress and I have strep throat. I have no voice really. Harper is being a damn asshole and bitching at Leslie. My head feels like hungover but it's from all the coughing I have done.

10/17/23

Dear Diary,

I just want to feel better, not hurting and able to breathe!!

10/18/23

Dear Diary,

I know I ain't doing very good right now with this first week of a new life story but me being has took a bad tow on me and Harper constant bitching. Supposed to go see my sister tomorrow so I'll let you know how that goes. Prayers for me though.

10/19/23

Dear Diary,

Me and Kailer are with this amazing girl, Cam. She's absolutely beautiful and amazing! Harper is pissed because Leslie is running late for school but he's knocked 2 times and Harper's brother knocked again. I say it's on them but Harper sees it differently. He didn't go to school. We went to see my niece and them, my brother in law got me the last application. I'm one step closer to leaving my abusive home again. Hopefully plan works out.

10/20/23

Dear Diary,

He turned it in! I've lived alone before but it's been almost a year and I'm scared but it's either live here and deal with more trauma or try to start a new life for myself. God please stand by me here! I truly need you my Lord and Savior!