Break Through

The anticipation was growing as more and more girls left the room. There were only a few of us left for the choosing and with each girl leaving gave me a bigger and bigger chance of being in the new music video. 

I made sure I did my make-up and hair just right. I tried to get the Reincarnate look as best as I could. I believe I did a pretty good job...I could even compare myself to Ryan. 

Thinking of her made me wonder how Josh was doing after the big, public break-up. She was a dime...but he's a dime, too. It was just a big mess. 

"(Y/F/N)?" A man with a clipboard showed up from the audition room. My heart was on fire as I stood up with a smile. "Right this way." I could tell he was tired of working all day. His attitude was everything but positive.

I stepped into the room, legs shaking as five black figures stood in front of me. My heart that was burning up nearly exploded in my chest. All five of them...staring at me...looking me over...

"Wow, look at you." Chris chuckled, looking at his band mates for a decision. All five of them were looking at each other, waiting for an answer. 

Josh, sitting next to Chris, leaned over and whispered. This was it. I could tell my answer was spilling into his ear at the very moment. 

"How would you like to be in the Break The Cycle video?" Chris folded his hands in front of him and leaned forward, anxious for my answer. 

"Are you serious?" My jaw dropped to the floor. I felt like falling. My knees were wobbling under the weight of my new stage-fright anxiety.

"We are completely serious." Devin spoke up, looking me up and down. "Out of the one hundred and seventy-four girls we've seen, you're perfect."

"You kept count?" Ricky turned towards his friend and gave him a strange look.

"Nothing better to do." Ghost chuckled while the others rolled their eyes. 

*Day of Taping*

It was so nice to just drive to work in my pajamas. As soon as I got there they dressed me in a tattered, grey, lacey dress with a veil that was to be draped over my face. My make-up artists went to work to make me look as dreary as possible as the director told me what I was supposed to do.

"Be careful not to screw up your look." One of my artists gave a light laugh that hinted the utmost seriousness. 

"Will do." I answered nervously. My voice was shaking already and the taping wasn't for another half hour!

I stared in the mirror at my new look. I looked nothing like myself. I looked like some sort of gothic porcelain doll. If I could walk around like this every day without getting stares I would.

"Hey (Y/N)." A voice startled me. Josh had appeared seemingly out of no where in my dressing room. 

"Oh, hi Josh." I felt unworthy to speak with him. "What's up?"

"You look very beautiful in that." I could almost see a bit of pink show through his pasty white cheeks. This was unlike him.

"Thank you?" I gave a demented, broken smile. "I don't think beautiful was what they were going for."

"I know...I meant in general." His voice was quiet. "I actually came here to see if you'd like to do something after we're done."

"Josh, I don't think that'd be a good idea." I shook my head. I felt frozen. "I don't think Ryan would like that." 

"Do you really think I care what she thinks anymore?" He approached me with a disappointed look on his face. "I saw you at the audition. Out of any other girl, something about you was different."

"It's an audition for a music video, not a dating show." I shook my head and smiled. 

"I know, but..." He looked around as if there was an answer in the room. "There's something. You've gotta' trust me. Give me one date."

"One date?" I lifted an eyebrow. "I don't know." I leaned on one leg, pretending to think about it. "I came here for a job opportunity, not to be a band girlfriend."

"(Y/N)...come on." Josh smiled. He looked creepy with his black eyes, white face, and ominous hood. He was the perfect kind of creepy.

"Josh, I'll think about it." I giggled.

With that, he left and shortly after we were getting in our places. I went out to the main living room. The instruments were waiting and so were the guys. They all stared at me as I walked in. I had a small part in the video but apparently a huge affect on the guys of Motionless. Josh even looked slightly devastated. 

I had to take a step back. Yes, I loved MIW. Yes, I did think Josh was more than attractive. The question is, am I truly ready to be that kind of famous? Acting was my dream. I want to be known for my work and not as some "screamo" band guy's girlfriend. But watching them together and watching Josh maybe he deserved a chance. 

"Josh." I walked over to them, smiling through my grim make-up. He gave me a shaky smile as the others snickered. 

"(Y/N)." He answered. The tables have turned as if the nervousness I had rubbed off on him.

"I think I'll take you up on your offer." The snickers ceased and shocked looks came over their faces.