Struggling to Connect: The 6th Book

Chapter 26: Terrored Nights

I wake up in a sweat and panicked as the death in my dream brings me conscious. I wipe the tears at my face and look around to see where Daryl is. I trusted him to wake me and he left me. I'm angry and hurt at myself thinking I could trust him out here again but that's quickly temporarily replaced with the panicked voices coming towards me. Daryl and Michonne rush at me with an injured Carol, "what happened?"

"She fell, there's glass in it." Michonne places her down next to me.

I look at the glass sticking out of her arm and before I could say anything, Daryl asks, "can ya fix her? I left it in like ya told me."

I shake my head, "not here. I can't tell if the glass cut a vein or anything. We need supplies to clamp and stitch if necessary. We have to bring her back to Alexandria."

"Let's go!" He hollers and bends down to help her up and back to Alexandria. When we get to the infirmary, Daryl yells for Siddiq, "Doc!"

He tells her what happened and asks if I can assist him to clean her up, but before I could nod and agree, Dave steps around from behind me and offers his assistance, "I'll help, no worries."

"Ok, ya. Sure." He nods then Siddiq ushers us out, "you all need to leave."

The three of us wait in the dark outside of the infirmary for news on how she's doing. When Siddiq comes out to tell us she's fine and passed out I nod over to Michonne and say, "good, I'll pack up somethings and she can stay in the room for however long she wants."

I move to get my things but I hear footsteps behind me so I glance over my shoulder and see Daryl following me, "where you gon' go?" He asks.

"I told you before, I'll be fine. You don't have to worry about me." My words come off harsher than I intended but my annoyance from earlier creeps back up like a spider crawling up my leg.

"Hey, I'm sorry I wasn't there.. I heard some noises and wanted to check it out." He explains himself.

"It's fine" I try to assure him, "I shouldn't have gone to sleep anyway. You did the right thing." I keep walking but Daryl grabs my arm to stop me.

I turn around to look at him and his eyes are searching mine, "Sadie, I am sorry. I want to be there for you. I want us to be friends."

"We are" I reply back flatly.

He shakes his head, "naw, we ain't. You're still mad at me for..."

"No, I'm not." I stop him from saying the words,
Holding my right hand up in a stop fashion, "truly, I'm not. It's been a lot of years since us and I've moved on. Really, we're friends." I try and assure him with a small smile.

"Then let me help ya, you need some good rest, you look like shit." He gives me a smirk as he tries to joke with me.

I give him a chuckle but quickly return, "I appreciate it but I got that covered in here, alright?"

"Iight, ya. I'll see ya around." He brushes his hair back with a flick of his head.

"I'll be there for breakfast" I tell him and he nods as I turn around to head to the house and grab a change of clothes.

I hang out at the house for an hour or so, waiting for everyone to trickle off to their job switch or go to bed. I change into a clean pair of clothes and make my way to the cell later than I usually do when I stay over. I try and go in quietly but the cell door creaks open and I hear Negan's low voice, "there's my girl."

"You're girl, huh? Who said you could go and call me that now?" I shut the cell behind me and shuffle to sit on the bed. The rooms mostly dark as there's no moon to light it up for us tonight.

"How are you?" He asks as I sit down. Moving a hand to rest it at the nape of my neck.

"She took some of our land as punishment for crossing into her land. It's most of our hunting ground so I don't know why I didn't let Carol kill her." I think out loud.

"Oooh, madam grey tried to kill her and you stopped her?" Negan asks to clarify.

"I can tell you about it in the morning, I could really use some sleep right now. I barely got any out there." I answer back, hoping he won't push it further.

"Ya, I got you Sadie-baby. Come on." He moves his hand and lays back down on the bed. I rest my head on his chest and let his breathing rock me to sleep easily.

I'm not sure how much time passes when I'm being woken up by Negan. He's rubbing my arm and my hair and whispering in my ear, "shhh, hey, hey. Sadie. Darling. Shhhhh, you're safe. Come on, wake up."

I slowly sit up off his chest and mutter out a quick, "thank you."

"That was fast, you've barely been asleep 20 minutes." He says to me, "maybe seeing her wasn't the best idea."

"Michonne didn't give me a choice, she asked for me so.." I yawn and shutter, the memory of my nightmare coming back to me, "thank you for getting me up before it happened. The screams.. I can't listen to them anymore." I start to cry and turn my head back into his chest.

"Shhhh" Negan brushes his fingers through my hair, "you're alright, it will be alright."

"I don't get it" I sob out, "why am I hearing it so much now? It's been months and it's just getting worse, not better. I don't know how to handle this." I confess to him.

"One sleep at a time, alright. When you're here, I'll take care of it. I'll get you as soon as it hits. We'll get you through it." He wraps his arms around me tightly, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'd take away all this hurt if I could, I'd take it all in a heart beat."

I cry a little bit longer but stop when I fall asleep in his arms. Luckily, I don't wake up from a nightmare the rest of the night and wake up a few hours later when my watch beeps, "that wasn't so bad, was it? You got some good rest in." Negan says as he sits up to stretch with me.

"Longest stretch in awhile, thanks Negan." I eye him over my shoulder, "and carols gonna be staying in my room for awhile so if it's alright with you.."

I trail off because I know he's going to comment before I can finish asking him, "always a spot for you, you know that."

"Thanks." I smile and lean in to peck his nose.

I take some time to tell Negan what happened with Carol and Alpha before leaving to head back to the house. When I get inside, whoever there looks over to see who's in the house but looks away right after, except Daryl. He stares at me for a bit too long and we hold eye contact as I walk into the kitchen, "what's up?" I ask.

"Nothing, want some eggs?" He asks, blinking suddenly and turning back to face the stovetop.

I shrug and take a seat, "sure." And we stay in the kitchen quietly as people come and go around us.