Two (A Jean Hobbs Fic)

II

It's been two minutes. Bertie called crying, came home to his flatmate dead. He called deans parents and Jack. Dean slit his wrists and popped a handful of pills while Bertie ran out to the shop. The air is still and Jack can barely see, spots blurring his vision. He's been staring at the wall trying to make sense of it all. Dean was his best friend why did he do it? Why would he do it?

It's been two hours. His flat mates went to see why he hadn't left his room, Daniel and Ciaran cry, Jack stares at the wall. Bertie sent him the note he found. "I can't go on like this, they all hate me. I'm the ugly fat one. Dean is another lesser half. Dean is worthless. Dean was worthless. Lately I've realized how much better everyone would be without me. No more fat ugly dumb gay talentless unfunny prick to put up with. Jack if you're reading this please don't think it was you, being your friend made the last 9 years bare able, but a month ago I relapsed. I really loved you. Tell Daniel I'm so sorry that he has to bury his big brother. I'm so weak. I can't go on. See you in another life" Jack hated himself for not noticing his best friend hurting. He should have been paying more attention to Dean. He should've been there, like Dean was for Jack in the past. He was really hoping for the next life.

It's been two days. A lot of youtubers came to the funeral. All hugging Daniel, who cried the whole time. No one hugged Jack, Jack didn't have the ability to cry, he hasn't felt anything in two days. He was supposed to speak at the funeral, he didn't want to, talking wouldn't bring Dean back. Jack stopped talking, no one laughed at his jokes like Dean would, no one had as good comebacks, no one was as insightful, no one was Dean.

It's been two weeks. Jack spends everyday at the tombstone and every night at the bar. He realized now when it's far too late that he was, is, in love with Dean. Jack told the internet about Dean. He posted on tumblr "I lost my best friend to suicide this month. If you notice a difference in your friends, do something. I miss him so much it hurts. Rip Dean." He officially quit YouTube he couldn't go on with a fake smile and a heavy heart. Twitter blew up. The chaos is not even close to the chaos in his mind.

It's been two months. Jack relapsed on self harming, Dean wasn't there to stop him. Dean wasn't there to stop him from hating himself. Dean wasn't there to stop him from cutting. Dean wasn't there to say we'll stop together. Dean wasn't there to stop him from listening to the voices in his head. Dean wasn't there to stop him from hanging himself in the bathroom.

It's been two years. YouTube is broken. The fans are too. Who would have thought we'd lose two.

Authors note: I'm really sorry if you felt things.