Abandoned Little Flower

DEPRESSION- CHAPTER 1

A life doesn't have a meaning if a soul isn't loved. I know a soul of that kind.

That soul I know...is me.

I overheard my father talk to Auntie once, 13 years ago. If I still recall, it was raining.

It was as if the heavens where sympathizing me. "Agatha get rid of that child! She just brings misfortune to my family! Look!" he shouted with tears in his eyes, pointing at the coffin beside him,"Emily would have never died!"

He sobbed as Auntie Agatha comforted him and explained, "Be quiet! Do you want her to hear you? She's just a child so don't blame her. It wasn't expected that Emily would get hit by a car," Auntie got up and went to the kitchen for tea. He continued sobbing as I hid behind the wall with my cheeks all wet. Wet from sadness, lonliness, guilt, anger...and frustration.

I gradually understood why father hates me so much. I know from my heart that he knows I wasn't the cause of the incident. He's just looking for someone to blame. Someone to blame as long as it isn't him. He is still my father and I still love him. Even though I know his heart would never be softened again, I took all the blame. All because of my love. Love for my father.

The strong breeze blows all of my hair away from my face as I remember all the feelings I had. Those blames that I had to take even if I didn't do it. That hatred I felt because of it. That sadness I felt that even my own father hates me. That lonliness I felt that I can never feel the warmth of mom again. That guilt I had that I didn't get to do anything. That frustration I had to take, all alone without help. All those feelings I had to endure every single day without anyone knowing how I really feel. But no more. I will not allow myself to endure this hell I'm living.

I wrap my hands around the railings. I have to do this, I say to myself. As I close my eyes and take a deep breath, I saw mom's bright smile once again. I can see her again! I won't be alone anymore. Never. I let my hands slip and from then and there I fell from a tall building.

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Darkness. Emptiness. Am I long gone? I don't know where I am neither what happened to me after the fall. Are they worrying for me? My dad especially...I hope he is. I hope he feels what I've felt all those years. The sadness and everthing else that would follow but then again maybe not. Maybe he won't feel anything. My death is probably going to lighten him up. He's going to be relieved than ever. Probably.

"Is she going to be alright, doc?"

"She slightly hit her head and would take a few days to recover but she's going to be fine." The doctor said as the door closes.

I heard voices.

Am I not dead? More importantly, who would worry for me? This is a first after years of my mother's death.

I try to open my eyes but it somehow feels heavy. As I slightly open them, I see someone. Brown hair & blue eyes, I analyzed...I don't know this guy...

"Name's Marcus King," He said introducing himself. Not hearing a reply, "Hey are you alright?" he said with worry. I tried to sit up but the pain was so hard to endure, I had to hold my forehead.

Ah...something's wrapped around my head. It must have been a pretty bad fall. Out of the blue tears were streaming on my face.

"Hey! Are you alright?!" he repeated, " I guess it really hurts doesn't it. You had a pretty bad fall after all," he said letting me lie down again. I shook my head with dissagreement. That's not the reason I'm crying. It's not. He looked confused but later on said, "Why are you crying then?"