literal mcpriceley trash

hell

A/N: @god I am probably going to hell for this lol

"Kevin?" McKinley looked at the younger boy from across the room. They were at his house.

"Shh... Connor." Kevin whispered. He closed in on Connor, finally coming to rest a hand on his cheek.

"Kevi—" Connor was cut off by a kiss.

Oh NO, he thought, as he saw flames bloom on everything.

But Kevin continued to kiss him. And it felt so good.

So he kinda maybe kissed back. Shut up.

Thunder began to brew in the sky.

"Connor McKinley!"

It was Satan.

Connor was too terrified to answer.

"You enjoy this, do you?" Satan boomed.

"N-no not at all, S-satan, sir." Connor squeaked.

"Oh, I think you do." Satan cackled. "You're gay."

"I'm not! I'm not!" Connor insisted.

"You're gay AND a liar." Satan decided. "You've been bad, Connor. And now you've got to pay!"

The flames began to rage out of control and Elder Poptarts materialized in the hazy smoke. He was holding a sparkly pink vest.

"Poptarts! Oh, you've got to help me, please!" Connor begged.

"I don't help gay people!" Poptarts declared, shoving McKinley into the vest. Something felt wrong about it though.

It wasn't his. It was too tight.

And getting tighter. And tighter?

The vest started to squeeze him. Connor couldn't breathe, he felt like he was suffocating gasping for air. But of course, the fire sucked all the oxygen away. Because apparently, in hell, science just HAD to work in the least helpful way.

"I'm sorry! I'm SORRY! Just make it stop!" Connor screamed. "Please, Heavenly Father, Jesus, Joseph Smith, Moroni, Brigham Young, the magical AIDS frog, and anyone else who would like to kindly lend a hand, GET ME OUT OF THIS SPOOKY MORMON HELL DREAM."

The vest conveniently decided to burst into flames, Connor screaming as it did.

Jesus emerged from seemingly nowhere and gave Connor a highly judgmental look.

"My gaydar is going off!" he exclaimed. "You're a gay dick? Don't even talk to me."

"Jesus, please!" Connor pleaded, his heart breaking at the thought of Jesus shunning him.

"Don't try to hit on me!" Jesus snarled, disappearing into the haze.

"Thanks Jesus!" Satan yelled, which thoroughly confused Connor. Jesus and Satan teamed up against gay people?

The flaming vest suddenly vanished, unfortunately leaving Connor shirtless. The hellish heat scorched his skin as he whimpered.

"I'm not done yet, Connor!" Satan warned.

And of course, of course Elder Price had to appear. Or rather, Elder Prices. They all began to form a ring around Connor, closing in, closing in. Even worse, they were naked.

Not that Connor spent a good chunk of his time imagining precisely that, or anything.

"What the holy heck?!" Connor screeched.

At last, the Kevins reached Connor, gripping him tightly. One shoved his hand all the way down Connor's throat and down into his stomach.

"Hgyh!" Connor tried to gurgle in protest.

"Good at deep throating, huh?" the Kevin smirked, drawing his hand out. In his fist, he clutched a red feather boa. Somehow, it was dry.

Connor spluttered, retching.

"I-I didn't... eat... that..." he gasped out, clutching his throat.

The Kevins wasted no time wrapping the feather boa around his eyes before proceeding to push him back and forth in their satanic Price-circle. Connor only threw up twice, but each time, he barfed out a load of scarlet feathers.

"Oh, sweetie, let me clean up for you," a Kevin said, proceeding to slap his mouth onto Connor's. "I think I got most of it off, can you check for me, Kevin?"

Connor felt himself being roughly shoved away.

"Sure thing, Kevin!" the Kevin on the receiving end of the throw said. He smushed his lips to Connor's.

These weren't really kisses, and more like something just short of cannibalism. Connor certainly didn't enjoy it.

Much.

Wait what haha he didn't enjoy it at all turn it off please Satan release him, a completely heterosexual man, wow, just... the straightest...yeh...

Connor ripped himself away from the Kevin, but found himself being pushed into the arms of another. They removed the feather boa.

Connor spun around to face Kevin.

Only it wasn't Kevin.

"Steve Blade!" Connor shouted. "Steve!"

"Forgotten about me, have you?" Steve said.

"N-no! We decided it was better this way! I told you I didn't want to be gay!"

"You left me!" Steve roared.

"I had no choice!"

"You left me after I told you how I felt! You said you didn't want to be gay and then you go off with this KEVIN PRICE guy? Liar." Steve taunted

"I didn't, Steve!"

Steve Blade rolled his eyes and pushed the flaming Connor into the hellfire, as he, all the Kevins, Jesus, Satan, and Poptarts chanted "away with the gay!" on repeat while Connor burned.

He woke with his mind racing. Sitting up, he flicked on the light and checked his vest was still there, tucked under his pillow.

There it was.

But Connor frowned as he noticed the label. K. PRICE.

The vest. It wasn't his. He'd packed the wrong one. His vest was in Uganda, and he might never see it again.

Connor began to panic.

A/N II: why was this so long wow what does that say abt me