Broken heart syndrome [h.s]

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TW: talks of death, cancer.

Dying

Most people are scared of dying, however, I have come to terms with the thought. 2 years ago, my life was perfect, my band, One Direction, was at an all time high, I was performing to crowds of thousands. But that one doctors trip ruined everything in my wildest dreams.

I was on stage in London, the first stop on the Uk and Europe leg of our tour. After passing out on stage, I was rushed to hospital, it was here I found out I had lung cancer.

None of the boys know this, in fact nobody knows, I want to live the rest of my life like normal, I don't want anyone fawning over me. I want to be treated the same. I'm not naive, I know people will find out eventually. But for now I want to live the rest of my life how I was meant to. Being apart of a successful band, the most amazing friends and family.

And my Elena.

Elena is more then just my girlfriend, she is the best thing that ever happened to me, she makes me so happy, she makes me forget all the troubles I have.

She makes me feel normal.

Now I know normal is subjective, however, she makes me feel like I'll live forever, I'm always on a high when I'm with her. I love her with my whole being.

I will never forgive God for pulling me away from her so soon.

I'm writing this in bed, Elena is out with her friends, I told her I was okay, and to go have fun, however i don't think I'll make it to when she gets home.

When she gets back she will find this, along with envelopes containing notes for everyone near and dear to my heart.

I just want to to know El baby, I love you more than words can say, you gave me a new meaning of life when I knew it was coming to an end. You have given me a reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to smile, a reason to live.

I hope life treats you well, and I hope you treat yourself well too.

I love you to the moon and back,

And to all my friends, my mum, dad, sister. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I wanted to live my life with out everyone waiting on me hand and foot. I wanted to be free.

I love you all, and I'm sorry it has to end this way.

Harry.

//

Hello!

Bit of a sad chapter to start off with, however it will be happier i promise.

If you take time to read my story, you don't know how much I love you, and how much it means to me.

Hugs and kisses

Beth <3