Distorted Truths

chapter one

Homesick, the emotional state of mind where a person experiences intense feelings of longing due to separation from home environment and loved ones. As emotional as it is, it could sometimes transition into physical illness.

Lack of appetite, stomach problems. Lack of sleep, headaches. Fatigue.

That was the thing; I was homesick. Not for a place that was considered home—nor was it a place I had ever visited—or even a person that I loved. I was homesick for a place I wasn't even sure existed. But for a place where my heart was full, my body was loved and my soul was understood.

An appetite was hard to come by. Almost as hard as sleep. The utter exhaustion from keeping up the social image of our 'elite' family was taking its toll on me. As it usually did after lunches, dinners, parties, and charities. The holidays were the toughest time of the year.

Being the only girl in the family, aside from our late mother, I was held to certain... expectations. No modern day princess would have used that word but it was the one Sebastian used to describe the rules he had in place for me. When our parents died in a tragic car accident, he was thrown into the throne of our empire. Our kingdom, as our father had called it.

Sebastian had always been the recluse, clinging to our father's hip with every intention and notion of running the kingdom one day. He was younger than me by four years but the way he carried his domineering self spoke volumes. Virtually leaving no room for people to guess or even wonder about his age. The reclusive Sebastian only worsened as the years went on, closing out the outside world with a permanent glare on his features.

When our parents passed and he was forced to take over, it was at its peak. As it was during the holidays now that it'd been eight years since their passing. The grief never subsided for those that didn't acknowledge the loss aside from stepping up to the plate, so to speak.

As little as I knew about 'our kingdom', I knew we were dangerous. Our lives were in constant danger; we were hardly ever safe. Even in the confines of our own home. I'd seen the ARs and the AKs, the pistols and the weed, the cocaine and the pills. If we were this bad, how bad was our enemy?

My brother was dabbling in it all, making me wish for the ability to be stealthy. Unfortunately, sneaking around was never my strong suit. No matter how badly I wanted to know what was going on. What I was getting myself into by divulging information shared in secrecy, amongst myself and other mafia princesses, to him.

Since he'd been placed at the head of the table and gained his footing in our world, I'd been the social butterfly. I'd been groomed and scrutinized by him and his second-hand man, Carlo.

Carlo Ruiz was our father's life-long best friend and had been second-in-command for many years. All I'd ever known him as was Uncle, and I wasn't allowed to think of him as anything or anyone else to me.

Carlo, Sebastian and Hugo—Sebastian's best and only friend—were the only men trusted enough to be alone in a room with me. Not even the bodyguards, who flocked everytime I even thought of leaving my ivory tower, were allowed alone with me in a room. And especially not with doors closed.

My virginity needed safe-keeping. I knew that, just as I knew that no proper man in our world was going to marry a whore that gave herself away before marriage. And doing such a thing would only disrespect myself, my brother and the entire family as a whole. It didn't matter if my husband-to-be slept with one or ten women, though.

Of all things, I knew that I and my life was a mere pawn on the chessboard. I couldn't move anywhere but forward. Not allowed to take out any other chess piece, I was doomed to sit in the furthest corner from the queen—or king in this manner—and pretend I didn't exist until I was spoken to.

That was the way Sebastian wanted it.