All pucked out. (College hockey romance)

chapter 1

I have caught myself staring more times then I would like to admit in the past 5 minutes. He just looks so beautiful especially with that white button down shirt he has on, with it folded up to his elbow. We are having usual Sunday lunch but we are celebrating me and Gavin graduating high school. Which the ceremony happened 4 days ago

All around the table is my mom, my sister Ava who is a year younger than me. Then there's the Carey family, we have amber who is my mom's best friend since high-school and like a second mom to me.
Her husband Ken with Gavin and Steven who is Gavin's older brother. He's more of a sibling to me than my own sister

Steven was the very first person I told when I realized a had a crush on Gavin 8 years ago. And every year since my heart has only beaten for him.

We have had some special moments where in 9th grade he was my first kiss, well technically I fell in the pool and almost drown, until he tried to give me CPR. But waking back up from being unconscious and seeing him had me giggling for days

I finally stop zoning out when I hear my mother loud laugh. She makes the room feel light, even with the scarf covering her bald head, and the eye bags under her eyes. She still looks beautiful

"So maelia, have you heard anything from Berklee yet" amber asked and everyone eyes are on me. I look down at my plate and clear my throat. "Umm, actually I've decided I'm not gonna apply" I look towards mom, she closes her eyes and shakes her head

"Mary what is she talking about?" Amber looks between me and mom.

"I've begged her to apply, but-"
"But I told you I'm staying here, not 10 hours away mom" I cut her off, knowing that this leads to an argument every time we've talked about it.

Mom was told she has cancer about this time last year, and everyday it seems like it gets worse and worse. I'm the one who makes sure she takes her medication, I drive her to the doctor, I clean and cook so she doesn't have to. Ava is hardly home, so who would look after her if I'm gone?

My mom tries to move the conversation onto something different, thank the Lord, "so Steven are you ready for your 3rd year at maple park?

"Definitely, hopefully the parties are better than they were last year" all of us just roll our eyes. But none of us are suprise that Steven is at college to party and not study

"You should check out our music program there, I've heard it's actually pretty good. I mean maple park is only an hour down the road from here. It's not to far to come home when you need to" Steven says as he puts more Mac and cheese on his plate

"Actually, I might look into it" I try not to make eye contact, knowing that I probably won't look into it.

"Ava can you please put the phone down and actually have a conversation with us" my mom uses her soft voice, and I hate it, I know my mom loves me but I can't help but feel like she goes easier on her then me

Ave rolls her eyes and sticks her phone down in her back pocket, "so Gavin you happy you got into Stanford?" Gavin's eyes sparkle as Ava gives him the attention he always craves.

"I really am, I'm definitely nervous about the program, I've heard people drop out before the first semester ends"

"You're the smartest person in the room Gavin, I know you have worked so hard for it. We all believe in you" I say hoping he will look at me the same way as he did Ava.

Me and Ava are completely opposite, she's around 5'5, blue eyes, brown hair, boobs and ass for days. Me? I got the darkest brown eyes, blonde hair, and 5'1. Everyone always looks at her and not me, but every now and then I catch Gavin looking at me.

Around 3 hours later, the sun had been replaced by the moon, and I'm sliding out of my window to my bedroom to sit on the roof of our 2 story house. It's my quiet place, I get to look at the moon and stars while quietly thinking to myself.

I hear someone walking through my room and Gavin pops his head out the window, "I knew you would be out here." He always has the gorgeous smile on his face

"Both the moms pulled out the karaoke machine and I realized it was my time to get out of there" he sits so close to me that our shoulders are touching

"Yeah that's what almost 2 wine bottles will do" i look back up at the darken sky.

"So you're really not going to berklee? I that was your dream since you picked up your first guitar?" His voice is soft, with a hit of concern in it.

" I don't know what I was thinking Gav, hours away from home, away from mom? I perform at different bars each night to help pay the medical bills. I absolutely can't afford Berklee, even with my scholarships"

"You're a good person maelia. Good daughter and good sister." He wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer.

"I don't ever feel like that, especially now" I whisper, taking in his cologne.

"I wish you could see yourself the way that we all see you"

I look up at him and meet his eyes with mine, "how do you see me?"

"I see perfect"