ANIMA

31. Unworthy

Mason

As soon as we finish eating Tomas leads me to the closest bathroom and after checking that it is empty, locks the door.

“Why did you ask me to play along?” he asks.

“To shut them up for talking to you like that. You are nobody’s dirty secret.”

“Because nothing happened! And what happens when I don’t show up at the ball? I will be even more of laughing stock.”

“Why wouldn’t you show up?”

“I never planned on going so I don’t even have an outfit ready!” he says exasperated.

“That’s why we are seeing Emilio later for the fitting.”

“You are really going to spend all that money on outfits, tickets and god knows what else just to keep the lie going? Please don’t waste your money.”

“It’s not a waste! I always planned on asking you to go with me... I was just working up some courage.”

“Oh”

“So…will you go with me to the Oakwood ball?”

“Umm…”

“You don’t need to feel pressured to say yes. I won’t hold it against you. We can just go as fr-”

“I will go with you.”

“Well thank god, I don’t know where I was going with that.”

The day somehow feels longer even though its exam season. By the time exams are finally over for the day I am almost jumping out of my skin with excitement.

Tom class is right next door so I wait for him by the door.

“Did you have too much sugar or something?” he asks as soon as he sees me.

“Just nerves.”

“I should be the nervous one right now. I have never met a tailor before.”

“Emilio is cool.”

We walk to the dorm, get changed and wait for Emilio in my room.

He arrives right on time with an assistant and several outfits. He is already done with my suit so all I do is try it on to make sure it still fits.

Emilio brings out suit after suit for Tomas to try on until he finds just the right one for him. He takes Tomas’ specifications to tailor the suit a bit and promises to have both delivered in a week's time.

We are almost at the library were we are meeting our friends to revise when I get a call from mom. She asks me to meet them in the parking lot.

“What is this about you breaking up with Cassandra?” mom asks as soon as I enter the car.

“We broke up last summer but it only become official a couple of months ago.”

“Why? She is perfect for you” mom says.

“You mean perfect for you guys. I'm sure you like her last name more than anything.”

“Do not talk to your mother like that. Are you trying to say you only dated her because of us? We didn’t tell you to date her. You were the one who introduced her to us.” Dad interjects.

“No, we didn’t start dating because of you but we kept it going because of you. Even when it wasn’t working I stayed with her because that’s what you wanted.”

“I can’t believe this.” dad says.

“And what about the rumors of you seeing a boy? You have never been gay, Mason. What is going on?” mom asks.

“I've always been pan.”

“Pan? Is this some trick so that we allow you to break up with Cassie?” dad asks.

“Allow? I didn’t need your permission to start dating Cassie and it took awhile to realize but I don’t need your permission to break up with her.” I say.

“Do you even know what pan means?” I add, genuinely curious.

“Of course we do! We donate to a lot of their causes, had queer sensitivity training too. We know what it means.” Dad replies.

“We are not homophobic, we are just worried about you. You have never done something like this before.” Mom says.

“If dating a boy is really what you want, we will find an appropriate one for you.” Mom adds.

“That’s right, no matter who you date they should be on par with your last name. I am sure he worked really hard for that scholarship but you deserve someone better.” Dad says.

“So you are not homophobic just classist. You don’t even know anything about him but you have already decided he is unworthy!” I say.

“We know everything we need to know; he comes from a lower middle class family, sure he is smart but he will probably need another scholarship or huge debt just to go to college. You can do better than that.” Dad says.

“Are you guys done? Can I go now?” I ask suddenly tired of this conversation.

“Mason…you need to listen to us, we know what is best for you.” Mom says.

“I never said I was going to marry the guy so calm down. And please, for the love of all that is holy, do not try to find me a boyfriend. I will take care of that myself.”

They smile and wish me luck for the rest of my exams, finally letting me leave.

I am pretty sure they think what I said means that I wouldn’t be seeing Tomas anymore, not that we are dating.

I am too tired to correct them so I just leave.

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