Your Shadow Crosses Mine

16

The sound of panic in the silence is so deafening.

It's not something you can even explain.

But at the same time everyone knows what you mean.

Panicked footsteps making their way to the door.

The handle slowly goes down as the door creaks open.

The shadow of my mother's figure slowly appears as the door shuts behind her.

"Mother?"

"Shh baby" she chokes on her own words

I reach for my bed side lamp but her hand goes over mine stopping me.

I can see her face a little by the little light shining through the window.

I could see the tear stained cheeks she was so desperate to hide.

"Come on baby, let's get you tucked up"

She sits on the bed letting me place my head into her lap.

Her fingers run through my hair as the blanket covers my body.

"Mother?" I almost questioned while looking up at her

"What baby?"

"Promise you won't leave"

I can hear the silence that falls in the room as I wait for her response.

"Baby, I can't promise that" she sighs

"Why not"

"Because, one day I'll be gone and none of us have control over it"

I can see how glassy her eyes look as she holds it together.

"You know one day you may even decide you don't want to be like your father"

If I ever end up like him I'll hide myself away.

Never come out.

"And one day you may find yourself in situations that I'm not here to help you through"

I sit up and move next to her, her arm wrapping around me as her cheek is pressed against my head.

"And maybe one day you'll find a guy or a girl that will love you for who you are"

"I don't think I believe in love mother"

"I know my and your father haven't been the best role model for love"

Another pause before she continued.

"But baby I promise you one day you will find that person who you'll do anything for"