id be nothing without you - tom kaulitz

its not okay

i wake up. out of breath.. panting for air and shocked. im in my house.. in my bed...!?
what the fuck. i thought i was on the tour bus with the group..?

a couple minutes later it all adds up "oh my god..! no no no no!!! i cant be.. oh my god..!" i slap myself "this couldn't have been a dream..!! t..tom, bill.., Izzy, Georg, Gustav..!!! it was all a dream!!?"

i run downstairs and i see my mum cooking something for breakfast
"morning sweetie!" she says with a kind smile on her face
"morning mum.. wait. what..!? i thought.. you where.." i get cut off by my siblings running downstairs.
"Morning mum!!" my brother and sister say as they run up to mum and hug her.
"you thought i was what sweetie..?" mum says and walks over to me and gives me a hug
"i thought you were not well.." i say and tear up a bit
"oh darling..! i've got better.. i've been healed.."
she replies.
everything isn't making any sense right now im going insane! mum was paralysed.. you cant heal from that.. what's happening. am i going mad?.. things start turning into a blur. i feel faint..
"uh ahah! i think im going to go up into my room.. i feel a bit..dizzy." i say and i dash up into my room.

i lay down on my bed and sigh deeply. im gonna try text tom!
i go to text tom but his contact isn't there..?
"what..!?" i mumble to myself
"not even bills or izzy's contact is there!!" i whisper yell.
this cant be happening right now i think im going psycho..!
i quickly grab my things and head out of the door and sprint to tom and bills house.

after a few minutes of running i get to the door and knock on it slowly..
"hello..?"
my heart drops as soon as i see a random girl with long dark hair and glasses at the door
"oh um ahah! sorry i was expecting someone else to open up the door ahah.." i stutter
"oh! its fine dear! but i do have to say.. the previous owners of this house got into an accident two years ago" she says with a little frown on her face
my heart starts the thumb hardly against my chest
"do yo..you know names by any chance..?" i ask with slight worry
"oh i think it was something like.. maybe bell..? no bill! yeah bill and his brother..? something starting with a 't' im not sure ahah!" she replies with a small smile on her face.
my heart drops. my face goes pale white as i feel tears forming in my eyes
two years ago..? what!!? "t..thank you miss..!"
i state and make my way home as tears are falling down my cheeks rapidly.
"this cant be.. i.. i cant!!" i mumble to myself
"i must be going mad!! how am i going to make it through school..!?"

its the next day and i've got school. no shit. i roll out of my bed and once again remember i dont have anyone by my side. Izzy isn't there. neither is tom.. bill.. Gustav or even Georg.. what the hell am i going to do..

i get into the school building and i run into someone who looks exactly like.. Tom!!?
"tom!!" i yell and run up to him giving him a tight hug.
"woahh! Cora..? why are you hugging me..?" he says confused
"tom..! oh my god ive missed you..! someone even said you and you brother got into a bad accident..!" i say with tears in my eyes.
"im so happy your here!!" i say
"C..Cora.. snap out of it.." he says sharply
"w..what..? snap out of what..?" i reply with a frown on my face
"stop pretending." he says with a face of concern.
"what..?" i say confused
"stop pretending im here.." he says looking down at me.
"i..im no-" i pause as i look up and he's.. gone..?
i start feeling tears form in my eyes as i hear people around me start to laugh and whisper to each other and point at me
"i..im hallucinating.. for fuck sake.." i whisper to myself and burst into tears.

before i know it the bell goes bur i feel a warm hand on my shoulder
its nothing Cora your going mad just leave it..
the hand stays on my shoulder and i start to hear words in my head "come on let me walk you to lesson darling." he says.. it sounds just like tom..
suddenly i feel my blood start to boil with pure sadness yet quickly turning into anger. i snap back at the voice that seems to be coming from behind me
"FUCK OFF LEAVE ME ALONE!!" i shout at the top of my lungs causing students to shoot their heads over in my direction.
i feel tears form in my eyes as people stare at me like im a creep.
i then make my way to class..