The Liam Star

Chapter Two

~ Chapter Two ~

Carefully, I slip the ring onto his cold, skinny finger.  It was a perfect fit. Caressing his hand with the new sparkly ring, I smile. If this was July, we would be smiling, laughing and eating cake. I’d be spilling a couple tears of happiness. After all, a girl’s wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day of her life. The boys would be standing with Liam, as his best men. I’d have Eleanor and Perrie standing with me, and my maid of honour’s. Liam’s nephew and my niece would be ring boy and flower girl. We’d have our first dance as a newly-wed couple. My dad would be crying, because his baby girl isn’t his baby anymore. Later on in the evening, we’d be on a plane to Paris, to spend our honeymoon.

But this isn’t July. Liam isn’t here anymore, and we didn’t get married. Instead of crying tears of happiness, I’m crying for the loss of my soon to be husband. I’m putting my fiancée five feet below the earth. No one’s laughing, smiling or eating wedding cake. We’re all huddled around his casket, tears brimming in our eyes. In my case, tears were freefalling down my face. The boys stand behind me, looking at their daddy//brother. In my hand, I slip on my wedding band – we now are somewhat married. Maybe we aren’t legally married, but, in my heart, we are. Always and forever – even in death.

It’s cloudy and drizzling outside. It’s almost as if the clouds are crying with us. I reach out to my side and grab the bouquet of roses at my side. Slipping the single long stemmed rose in between his cold fingers, it rests against his chest. I proceed to decorate him with petals of roses as our bed would’ve been decorated on our honeymoon night.

Once I’m happy with my artwork, I grab his hands one more time. Karen and Geoff, Ruth and Nicola stand beside me, weeping gently.

Everyone is dressed in black, and suddenly, my heart aches. It feels black, and empty. As everyone here is dressed in black, I’m dressed in a white dress. People from Liam’s side of the family look at me like I’m crazy – but in my eyes, I was getting married to the man I loved. I mean, to the man I love.

Before his casket gets closed and lowered into the earth, I tenderly kiss his hands, and place it back gently. I take one last look at his face. His eyes are closed, and he looks like he’s dreaming. His hair is mopped around his face, framing it. His lips are rosy, but cold. His birthmark is still visible. I kiss it gently; it was one of the things that I found attractive about him. I kiss his lips, but they’re cold. I hear someone clearing their throat, and I immediately straighten up. Oops, it may have seemed slightly …. Inappropriate – kissing a dead man. But I don’t care. Someone closes his casket and it gets lowered into the earth; on it, my tears.

Karen and Geoff embraced me, comforting me.

At first, I was surprised. But maybe it’s because of the fact that Karen was my future mother-in-law, and Geoff, my future father-in-law. Liam allowed me to know someone that became the mother I’ve never had. And I miss him so much.

“I-I-I’m so sorry Karen. It’s-it’s a-all my f-fault” I sob hysterically. And it’s true. If I wasn’t on my damn period, Liam would’ve never had gone out to the convenience store at eleven o’ clock at night, desperate to make me feel better, we were supposed to watch Like Crazy when he came home and brought sweets to fulfil my cravings. But he never came home. Instead, I wandered about the streets, and eleven-fifteen at night, to find Liam lying on the ground. Beside him, lay a bag of melted ice cream, propped open. The chocolate in the bag was mushed. Someone ran over him.