All's Fair in Love and Las Vegas

Chapter Thirty Four

        Wordlessly, we both climbed out of the pool and dried off a bit before heading back downstairs. I kept my towel pulled tight around my shoulders and torso, while Grayson wore his more like a scarf. He walked into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. I knew I should go shower, to wash off the chlorine, but the air was so thick that I knew I couldn't just walk away. My muscles felt tense as I sat down at one of the bar stools by the counter. For a moment, I could only watch as my hair dripped onto the laminate floor.

        Wanting to get his attention, I cleared my throat a little. He stood up, closing the fridge and raising an eyebrow.

        "You've never kissed me that way," I said quietly, my stomach churning with worry.

        "No, I haven't," he agreed. 

        "Then why?"

        His lips formed a faint smile. "You deserve a bit of my reckless side too."

        My breath hitched momentarily. "Your reckless side," I repeated. I'd only ever seen his reckless side once, and I'd been too drunk to remember it. I hated the curiosity blooming inside me, the pull that was begging to see his reckless side again. 

        Because that kiss had brought out something in me that I'd never even known was there before. It wasn't just the aching sensation of wanting to be kissed again—although that was there too. But this was something different: I wanted to be able to lose myself like that more often. To live by emotions and the saying 'no regrets.' This was being adventurous and wild and not knowing what would happen. Something I never would've felt before I'd met him.

        "I can't tell if you're thinking or if you want to be kissed again," Grayson said teasingly.

        Flustered, I snapped out of it and stammered, "Um, thinking, but I-no, I mean, like I wouldn't..."

        "I'm messing with you again," he clarified, grinning. 

        "Right. Of course," I said, embarrassed. I could read him so easily–except when my brain got tied in knots and I got too nervous to think around him. 

        "Want one?" he asked, showing me a water bottle. My brain was in Error 404 mode, so I meekly nodded. He lightly tossed it across the room, and I barely managed to catch it against my chest. Water. Water would maybe help me with hydration, which could be why I was feeling so skittery inside. It was probably the most intense kiss of my life, but water could help.

        Grayson came and sat down at the bar stool next to me. "Do we need to talk about this?" he asked gently.

        Yes. "No," I said, squirming. 

        He sighed, raking his fingers through his damp hair—which definitely was not helpful. "I just feel like we're both not saying things."

        "I know I'm not saying things, I'm just not sure what they are," I confessed, screwing the cap back on my water bottle.

        He laughed softly. "That's kind of where I'm at too. Maybe we can each say one thing that isn't everything?" 

        It wasn't a terrible solution, nevermind that it was the only solution we had. "Okay," I said, exhaling slowly. "I...feel a little in over my head because I've never been in a relationship before and I can't tell if I'm doing it right." 

        Grayson looked surprised. "Of course you're doing it right!" he exclaimed, but I shook my head.

        "The two of us keep kissing and flirting, and as bad as that probably is, I can't keep up with you," I said sheepishly. "The whole 'desperate and dangerous' just comes so naturally for you, and as much as I enjoy it too, I have to work for it. Then on the other end I can't keep up when you pull off the cute couple in public." 

        "Jackie, I had no idea," he said guiltily. "But you're doing a great job. Seriously. If we actually were married, I feel like you'd act the same way in public; liking the sweetness but too shy to know how to handle it."

        "Thanks," I said, and that did make me feel a bit better. The tension shifted as he addressed my other concern, and I couldn't help but feel tense with worry. 

        "As for the kissing and the flirting and all that, I don't want you to constantly be on top of it. That's partially why I like kissing you—it's one of the few real things. That's when we see the real Grayson and Jackie," he said seriously. "Is it super hot when you say something sexy or break out a harsh kiss? Absolutely. But most of the time I just like watching you go along with it. It's the fact that your dirty side is so unexpected that makes it so enjoyable."

        I didn't know what to do with that. 

        Blushing, I just nodded. There wasn't much of a response I could give him, so I would just have to process later. "What about you, what's your one thing?" I asked.

        Grayson looked down, playing with the corner of his towel before saying, "I never know how much is too much. And I'm scared I'm going to do something wrong," he mumbled.

        I understood that. Grayson was an extremely passionate person—he rarely did anything with half the effort. A fake relationship with a person like me, who was all about shutting things out and making hard boundaries, had to be stressful for him.

        I reached over and grabbed his fingers, close to holding his hand. "I think you've done a great job of that so far," I said softly. "You've asked almost every time before you kiss me, and I feel like when you go in I know exactly what's going to happen. If you think something is going to be too much, you can always just tell me, but honestly, I think we're at the same level. Your too much is honestly pretty close to my too much."

        "Okay, maybe I'll ask you more often then," he said, exhaling and immediately losing half the tension in his shoulders.

        I squeezed his hand. "Are we good?"

        "We're good. Thanks, Jacks," he said with a smile. "Let's clean up and get to bed?" 

        I nodded, taking my towel and heading to the beachy bathroom. While I washed out my hair, I couldn't help but feel a burst of pride. Grayson and I had just had our first real problem, and we'd worked it out beautifully by talking.

        If we could do that, we could do anything.