Dope Wounds

Intro

CIRCA. 1975

Wilona Marshall

I wiped my face as we both sat up sweating and heavy breathing. I had just finished a steamy session with the football captain and my man, Curtis Wright.
He kissed my cheek and reached over me to grab the blunt he had rolled up before we started, "so i guess you gon marry me" i joked to him

He laughed back at me, "girl you crazy" he said, "why would i do that? Im 18" he said to me

I sat up and crossed my legs. I had been keeping something from him and i was now about to reveal it. "Because im pregnant" i revealed to him and he stared at me as he slowly pulled his blunt one finally time before quickly putting it out.

"Since when?" He asked as stupid men usually do, i rolled my eyes before replying.

"Im 3 months" i told him and he sighed.

That conversation sparked my worse nightmare. I couldnt control him and he couldnt control me. When we graduated and had the twins Curtis started doing drugs... real bad.
We were in college and i would come home from classes and he would have his face in a dollar bill. He went from Coke to Pills..
He would sleep through the twins crying and they would be starved by the time i got home. Wet and shitty i'd have too spend my whole study time taking care of them. It had gotten so bad that i had to drop out the second semester of my junior year. The twins were 3 and i couldn't afford to lose my kids to the system because Curtis had become a damn crack head.

I stuck beside my man. I thought i would be able to make him better. To heal him. But going from being a full time student, to a full time stay at home mom was hard. Curtis would work day and night and smoke up all the money. I started to crack under the pressure.

"Baby" i walked into the kitchen one night. I knew what he was doing in there too.

"Yea" he said and wiped his face before sloppily turning around, knocking over things on the counter, "yea baby"

"Can i try that?" I asked him and he stared at me, i just got the twins down and im so tired, i need to clean up still"

He nodded and used his id card to cut down some of the coke. He put it on a plate and gave me a metal straw. He first showed me hoe to do it. And then i did it

My nose burned but i was awake. I sped through my cleaning and was even able to make breakfast... i hadnt even realized that much time had passed.
The twins were up and it was time for another bump. Curtis was off to work and then i took another bump..
Avion started crying because Aaliyah hit him on accident with her bowl.

Another bump.

Before i knew it, the twins were walking and talking... and i was slumped over in a corner waiting for Curtis to come home. With our next fix.

One night when Aaliyah was 15... Curtis came home with some friends... he told me to go upstairs and when he calls me it'll be time to party. It was around 11 ish..
I heard the kids door open.. i heard Aaliyah screaming for her mommy but i didnt want to go downstairs before Curtis called me. I just wanted my fix. I needed my fix.

She hollered for 15 minutes before I was called back down. Then i got my fix. He tied up my arm for me. Kissed my cheek like he did when we were younger. He reached over me and grabbed the non-sterile needle and flicked my arm until a vein showed up.

He jabbed the needle in and injected the heroin into my arm directly. My body immediately relaxed.

That same night i turned my head and watched my kids edit out the side door.. i never saw them again after that