A boring day started just like any other day. I sensed nothing special would happen. As per usual, I would ride a bus to travel from our house up to the university to where I study. It was not peculiar to me at all to sit with a man beside me while on a trip. Although I prefer women sitting beside me, sometimes I couldn't do anything since it's a public transportation and a lot of passengers are riding a bus during rush hour thus I couldn't choose the seat I wanted.
I don't look amiable so there was no time when a passenger tried to talk to me. I prefer to look snob by the way.
My mom didn't instruct me not to talk to strangers. It's just my instinct not to. Eventually, I would be sitting with a man with beard, with a man in a uniform, with a man with a kid, with a man smoking a cigarette, with a man in simple clothes, with a very old man, with a lanky man, sometimes unfortunately with a drunkard and the list goes on. Although it wasn't my first time to sit with a man like my age, I felt something I haven't felt before. It was something between nostalgia and deja vu.
Did I see the man before? Have I met him already? I stared at him for a moment. I was glad he's absorbed looking outside the window. For the first time, I felt curiosity towards a stranger sitting beside me. I admit, he had good looks-a visage you wouldn't forget. I wouldn't forget.
He was wearing a very familiar uniform. I never recognized his face. Yes, he's studying at the same university I was studying.
I was already enjoying the view when he glanced at me. I was surprised. I looked at different direction pretending to be unashamed.
I was so sure I heard him chuckled after awhile. Did he just laugh at me? Was he aware after all?
I never tried to look at him again nor at the window.
My travel usually took almost an hour.
I was just travelling for almost half an hour therefore I'd be waiting for another half an hour.
It was torture for me.I fell silent-feeling guilty and ashamed. Knowing the fact that we'd be arriving at the same location, it was more than a hell. What if I bumped into him in the future? Would he recognize me?
Somewhere in my heart I wish he would but my brain disagreed and wished he wouldn't.
When I thought I was sitting for years, I heard a voice beside me.
'What college are you, miss?'
It wasn't clear at first but then I decided to answer him.
'College of Science,' I said in a soft voice.
He just nodded.
Should I be talking to him? I didn't intend to be rude and so I answered him after a couple of seconds.
I thought it was the first and last question he'd ask, but he asked more questions anything under the sun.
We just realized we'd be arriving soon. I felt comfortable talking with him already. My shame vanished. I also caught myself laughing with him while talking about each other's childhood memories.
Weeks passed.I was wishing to see him again. I wished to his dimple again, his crooked smile, and the sound of his laughter.
And the day happened.
We'd met. Again.
He was with his gang and I was with mine. My heart beat faster and faster and faster as I walked towards him. Should I approach him? Or should I just walk pass him? Seconds passed, I chose the latter.
One second. Two seconds.
'Hey!'
I stopped. I thought my heart stopped beating as well. I looked at my back and saw him smiling at me, waving at me.
I smiled back.
Weeks, months passed. We eventually got along with each other. For the past months, I felt ephoria. I never been in love before. I never met a man like him before. But things conventionally changed. He graduated, I was left. He had a career, I felt alone. Nothing was like before.
I felt like we were a flower suddenly withered.
We put an end to our story after realizing things had changed and it would never be the same.
Six years had passed. It had been a long time.
I rode a bus and then I saw him. He's staring at me. I smiled at him. He smiled back. I sat across his seat.
I felt both nostalgic and deja vu.
How I wished things hadn't changed. How I wished it would always be the same. How I wished he didn't fall for another girl. How I wished he weren't sitting before her. Because now, he's a stranger again.
