Luv Letters

35| santa monica

Impulsive, spontaneous, incautious, call it what you want- but I don't regret wanting to pick up Lilah a single bit.

In fact, I'm a little annoyed Jack didn't do it sooner. Lilah deserves a loving and supportive home, and Jack and I both know he can provide both of those things.

Am I excited to go on a huge shopping spree for her new room? DUH. Does Jack know that's happening? Of course not, but he will once the time comes.

The drive is about two hours due to Los Angeles traffic but between my smoothie bowl, Jack's oversized hoodie drowning me in comfort, and the Chase Atlantic I have playing, I could be set for life.

The urge to pull Jack's note out of my back pocket is killing me. But there is a right time and place for everything- and right now is definitely not the time.

These last few days have been moving in slow motion. Between what happened with Kai, finals, and god knows what else I've dealt with, the only solution I feel like I have available is pushing it all to the back of my mind. Which is exactly what I'm doing.

Though, it's hard to focus on doing that when Jack's stress is radiating onto me.

"Your squeezing my thigh really tight." I murmur in borderline pain. Jack's eyes instantly snap to the hand he has firmly wrapped around my skin.

"Sorry." He mumbles pulling away. The designs from his rings imprint themselves on my thigh, but I try my best not to bring too much attention to it.

"What's on your mind?" I ask, hoping to get something out of him.

Jack lets his thoughts drown him, not to say I don't do the same, but he helps me out of it so I want to do the same in return.

Turning down the music I face my body towards his to show him he has my full attention. Jack's hair is messier than usual due to the abnormal amount of times he has anxiously run his hands through it, and his facial expressions are anything but readable right now.

"What? Oh nothing. Good song." Jack replies as we slowly come to a stop at a red light.

"You don't like this song, Jack."

"What song?" He asks moving his gaze from the steering wheel to me. I giggle at his oblivion and wait for him to refocus his thoughts.

"Oh, sorry." Shaking his head, Jack digs his eyes into the palms of his hands and lets out a few heavy breaths before answering.

The demeanor in the truck shifts slightly, but only enough for me to know Jack is okay, he's just thinking.

I don't know much about Cal, but if he gets Jack this riled up, I will try my absolute best to keep the hell away from him.

"Talk to me." I whisper

I can tell the closer we get to his house the more fidgety he gets which makes me feel guilty as is, but times like these, Jack needs to learn to talk about his feelings and display his emotions in a healthy way.

I want to be the person to teach him.

"It's not anything crazy. I just sure as shit hope Cal's not home."

"We'll figure it out." I whisper laying my head on his shoulder.

The rest of the drive is quiet, between the two of us anyways. The cool, after-storm, wind fills the truck as I nervously skip through my playlist. Music, in my opinion, always needs to match the mood. For example right now is not the time for 'Steve Lacy', it's more of a 'The Neighbourhood' vibe.