As Never Was

Chapter 3

The sudden thought bubble that rushed through his mind in the middle of class, that his father was still alive at that point of time, was enough to make Shao Long choke a sob right then and there. The teacher was startled at the pained noise, to which Shao Long responded with a sheepish smile and a bout of soft coughs. He randomly gestured to his throat, and the teacher had advised him kindly to visit the nurse's office on his way back to the dorms. 

Shao Long nodded, in lieu of an affirmative, as his rapidly overwhelming emotions built up in the base of his heart. Subconsciously, his fists clenched tight. 

His father was alive. 

His father he lost years ago in another lifetime, was now alive and well, and possibly not in the best relationship with him as he had remembered it to be. Scratch that, he and his father had never had a proper relationship, not since his mother's death, which was technically before Shao Long could walk so that didn't count. He didn't know how or why it happened, but he and his father just...didn't click that much. Shao Long being too expressive, and the other too subdued to match his energy. Oftentimes the fights were one-sided and nothing was explained or justified. It was always Shao Long demanding answers and Xi Yuze scowling silently, enraged and yet never speaking a word. Shao Long never really knew if that was better than him shouting back. Part of him wished he had. The silence was distance. For years, Shao Long lived together with him and yet they've never been as further apart. 

But at one point, the man had died, and Charles had been the cause, and the Shao Long from back then, upon receiving the news, had felt his world crumbling to dust. As if the rug was pulled from under his feet and suddenly everyone around him stretched out their claws and bared their maws. Every smile became predatory and every word was either poison or trap. Before, he'd always thought he was alone. It took the death of the single pillar in his life for the thought to become the truth. 

The moment the class bell rang and the teacher went out, Shao Long was on his phone scrolling through his contact, getting frustrated when he couldn't find his A-Die's name through the list. Giving up, he dialed the number, apparently having memorized it obsessively after the man's death — It wasn't a difficult thing to achieve, Shao Long had sent the man a voicemail every single night since the man's death — and tapped call. 

By the time the third ring passed, Shao Long's anxiety grew to a frightening level, so much that he bit the insides of his cheeks, and getting a tad bit closer to chewing them with each second the call was left unanswered, until—

"What is it?" 

Shao Long felt his heart stutter to a stop, all air having left his lungs and so were the words in his mind, leaving him blank. His tongue lead, his fingers trembling and shoulders sagging in relief. For the first time in a decade or so, the world stilled into silent tranquility, as if the raging river settled on it's own, the surface quiet and the water clear. For the first time since Shao Long's world crumbled down, his heart was at peace. 

"Shao Long?" The voice sounded impatient. Silky smooth, like his own, as if the man hadn't ever screamed a day in his life. Shao Long could imagine the frown on his face on the other end of the call, irritation growing as his question was met with silence. Xi Yuze had never really been much of a patient man, his schedule too packed for silly pranks, his energy too drained with work for him to indulge in ridiculous fun. It was the same way over and over again, Shao Long's father would call out his name in such exasperation, such irritation, but still he would call. No matter how many times Shao Long had annoyed him. No matter how pointless his whining was. And oh, how he'd missed the man.