a wandering ghost,
lost in the dark woods,
trapped in the mind,
she can barely get her life together,much less advise others on theirs...
even though she's stopped crying, distress still carves tiny grooves in her forehead...
experience<a dysfunctional family + a heartache=terrifyingly unbearable
just craving for a companionable silence with him but he seems to be out of reach though so close
though her eyes nolonger take on the wilderness of overwhelm nd neither do her breathing unsteady anymore it still feels like she can't breath properly,it hurts so much to breathe
after a moment's hesitation of admitting how toxic this is she eventually admits it but still ignores it 'cause she's not used to having anyone treating her sweetly nd so caring nd so feeling like she does b'cause it angers her to the bone nd touches the only part she's scared to review ,she takes it as pity nd hates being pitied ,so hard for her to believe that someone out there can be so kind nd considerate of her feelings...
SHE can drastically feel that something's slowly,invisibly nd gradually bleeding her of life till she's nothing but a shell of herself... like something is allowing thoughts of something to fester like cancer
the sudden, blinding clarity slices through her like a blade_
"•the monsters in our imagination are often worse those in reality•"
__still high from her discovery, it's so fucking obvious she feels like an idiot for not thinking of it earlier 'but we are the blindest when it comes to our own lives',
*closure*
:-
_sometimes has made her feel like it's the only thing she needs to be able to finally move on but then she realises that it might be the worst mistake she would make in her life nd when she's sure of it then, she'll let it slide nd keep holding on 'cause there's a difference between what something is supposed to be nd what it actually is_
'the heart wants what it wants'...
She had never wanted an exclusive relationship,she believed it came with too many expectations,nd honestly,she had never liked anyone enough to go on more than 3months with them.
But with ^M^...fuck
,she doesn't even know how it happened,she liked him, even when she felt like he's hurting her which is almost half of it now,not physically,all she knew was,he set her ablaze nd she never wanted the fire to go out.
He was the only person she felt like who got her,who understood her,who saw past the girl everyone else saw as nd every other mask she wore to hide the messy imperfect pieces underneath.She had no experience with the whole relationship thing,but, with him everything changed_
•love<<<_became<everything, everything!•_
°love pain, hurt,wounds,scars,healing_all this was *change*° she had never felt so incredibly, indescribably alive not ' till she met him...
She feels so determined to suppress all the pain yet the sadness lingers in her chest so the eyes are free from it in daylight by all means
the fact of hearing him remembering any small detail of what she likes from any of their conversations sends a burst of tingles shooting through her_it sucks that it's rare to hear him say so , sometimes gets her wondering if he remembers all the such small details ,anyway at all...
something she's sure of is he's trying to make sure her brainpower meets his standards,he wouldn't date a dummie unless he's turned into one.Someone has to be the brains in the relationship nd he's probably the brains,lk...
attached, obsessed,nd so much into him with all she's got_blood,bone, flesh nd the soul,
Damn,She loves him.❤️💜
random_thoughts🌀
@tanya_marian🌟
_unpaid_writer_🖤🦋💜
YOU ARE READING
All about_Maya_Tiara's_<<<LIFE
Random...Maya_a girl who takes her life not only as a gift with purpose to live but believes she's living an unknown,once-written,story_life...
