we are liars

The first-time

Life doesn't go our way no matter how hard we try
So many times I tried to change things but it just got worse like nature doesn't want things to be good I am lost ahead of time or pretend I'm dead

( ज़िन्दगी के फ़ैसले हमारे हिसाब से नहीं चलते बेशक हम जितनी भी कोशिश क्यों न कर लें मैंने कितनी ही दफा चीजों को बदलने की कोशिश की पर ये और खर्ब होता गया जैसे कुदरत चाहता ही नही की चीजें अछि हो समय के आगे मैं हर गयी हूं या यूं समझो कि मैं मर गयी हूँ )

I shunned people, left my parents' house and decided to live alone Sitting alone in the evening looking at the sky and talking to books These things used to connect me with myself and gave me a sense of my existence.

( मैंने लोगों से किनारा कर लिया माँ पापा का घर छोड़ मैंने अकेले रहने का फैसला कर लिया यूँ शाम को अकेले बैठ आश्मान को देखना किताबों से बातें करना ये चीजें मुझे खुद से जोड़ती थी मेरे वजूद का एहसास दिलाती थी )

There was a feeling of peace here, a quiet life that I always wanted to live The happiness I get in the pages of books is probably less than any happiness

( यहाँ एक सुकून का एहसास था एक शांत ज़िन्दगी जो मैं हमेशा से जीना चाहती किताबों के पन्नो में मुझे जो खुशी मिलती वो शायद किसी भी ख़ुशी से कम होती )

There was noise outside, children's voices were coming, maybe today some child must have cheated in the game or he must have refused to play with him ,I saw a withered face that was being buried in the darkness of the evening as if someone had snatched something valuable from him or he was sorry for his loss I called him, he didn't pay attention to me, I called again, come here He came running on his little feet to me and said coldly, why did you call didi?

I asked how did your feet get dirty while you are wearing sandals ?
Didi, I took off my sandal while playing, that's why
ok sit here
Look, there are winners and losers in the game, don't take it for real, you lose today, you will win tomorrow But you are spoiling your evening and maybe morning too because of your defeat don't take it seriously

How did you know that i lost?
because i'm older than you !

It was morning again the sky was spreading its beauty Then the same sunlight went out to give light to the people and I was peeping through the windows and asking him me when?
I was at the mall to buy some clothes and essentials

I took my packet and came down from the lift I saw the crowd in front maybe someone was unconscious don't know who and I didn't even try to know
Why do people crowd because of caring for us or considering it as an object of entertainment?
The crowd only sees the spectacle of humanity's tears i don't like crowds

Dherya, someone called familiar voice and name
I turned and saw
I started walking fast I didn't want to meet him I didn't want to see him i came home what you try to avoid becomes more difficult to avoid
People say forget but it's hard to forget People say go away but it's hard to go away Why we meet parts of the past we never want to see
I have buried many such secrets inside myself, which are difficult to meet now.it's hard to escape the dread
I tried so hard to escape but could not escapeWho can escape the fear of himself !

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Hope you like it Do vote when you like it
Thank you
Apki sirf Apki Anne