"Don't Cry: A story of Axl Rose overcoming his problems"

Don't Cry

"He tells her that he needs to know that someone is there for him. She reassures him that it will be her job always,"

Axl Rose paced his mansion, as anxiety filled his restless mind. All he could think about was the "Use Your Illusion" Tour that started tomorrow. He was nervous about how the fans would react to the new lineup. The loss of Izzy, the band's bass player took a hard toll on him because he felt Izzy was someone he could relate to the most in the band. They were both from Indiana, went to the same high school, and were in a band together since 1983. They left on a bad note and didn't even get to talk before he left.
They also had a new drummer, by the name of Matt Sorum. The old drummer, Steven Adler, was too far into drug addiction to continue playing, so he was sadly released.
He'd had bad experiences with crowds and it always put him in a sour mood, which caused him to be unpredictable, and a mess to handle.
Overruled by his thoughts, it was impossible to sleep. Everywhere he turned he saw reminders of his loneliness. His throat tightened and it became hard to swallow. He knew he'd cry by the end of the night, and he knew he couldn't avoid it. He had to get out of his thoughts and do something to distract himself or he would be miserable until morning. Usually, he would write song lyrics or go to the Rainbow Bar and Grill, but it was late at night, and everything was closed, and he didn't want to write because that would result in bringing up the dark subjects of his past.
All he could do was get out of his head space for a minute. Usually leaving the room where your anxiety forms helps. So he decided to wander the house.

Axl decided to go where his mind led him.

Wandering into the kitchen, He browsed around for something to distract him. He immediately went to the fridge and started digging around.
Everything here is bitter and sour. I need something sweet. He thought as he rummaged around.
Axl had been trying to stay away from alcohol because it wasn't good for his mental health. Whenever he consumed too much, he could become very destructive and short-tempered.
He didn't find anything except some Neapolitan ice cream leftover from a Christmas party he threw. Instead of getting out a bowl, he took the whole tub, and a shiny spoon out of the drawer and quietly shut it.

Afterward, he trudged to the living room and sat down on the couch. He grabbed the remote off the coke can and ashtray littered table, and muted the television, so as not to wake anyone. He began to skip channels, mostly the late-night talk shows and murder documentaries. He didn't want to watch murder documentaries late at night. He was about to give up searching for channels and go to bed. He decided to skip one more channel, feeling lucky, and a cartoon came on. The Looney Tunes.
Looney Tunes was a show that Axl had grown up with. He grabbed a gray soft blanket out of a basket by the side of the couch.
Watching the show without sound made it even more nostalgic for him. Everything seemed sadder. The characters chasing after each other weren't as funny anymore. A reminder of how different and less innocent he was now.
He sat there scooping ice cream out of the tub and spooning large chunks into his mouth. The blue hue of the television screen filled the room with a sad but comforting tone. The blue light framed his face.
He felt like a zombie. He felt dead, as he sat there lifelessly eating away, staring at the crystal screen.
His face and around his eyes felt cold.
It was so quiet that he got a bit paranoid whenever he saw a "shadow" from the corner of his eye slink across the room, then disappear as if no one were in the house.
He felt like he had been transported back in time to when he and his wife Erin had divorced, and everything was empty. Nothing could replace Erin at that point until he met Stephanie at the video shoot for "November Rain".
Axl pulled the blanket over his head like a hood and sat criss-crossed on the couch, clutching the cold tub of ice cream in his frost-tipped fingers.
I'll save this for later. he thought.
He put the tub on the marble table in front of him. He always got compliments about that table. He'd had different ones, but they always ended up getting smashed or thrown out the window.
Axl wrapped himself tighter with the blanket. He grabbed a pillow, laid down on his side, and stared at the TV. It was very relaxing to him, and it reminded him of when times were simpler.

As the show finished he still lay in a pile of blankets and pillows on the couch. He sluggishly reached for the remote on the table and nearly fell off the couch. He grabbed the remote and turned it off with a 'click' then sat up and stared expressionless at the wall in front of him, nothing on his mind. After about three minutes of staring, he stood up and walked away leaving the opened ice cream on the table.

Wandering into the kitchen, Axl grabbed a glass of wine from the counter, leftover from the tour kick-off party he'd held. He downed every last drop. He decided one wasn't enough so he decided to get a second. He crept over to the cabinet behind the counter and slowly opened it. He looked through his selection of wine and settled on the most expensive one he owned. He made sure to hold the cabinet door until it closed all the way because the door swung hard, and normally made a loud banging noise.
He popped the cork off and put it on the counter neatly as he poured his second glass. He filled it about halfway knowing what wine could do to him. He sat on the counter and as he drank, all of the feelings of regret and sadness washed away. Cleansed from his mind. He got up off of the counter when he was halfway through his drink, and walked to the back door.
His hands pressed against the window, making the glass fog over around them. He opened the door and let himself outside.
Nature was different at night. His house seemed empty as he looked at it from a distance.
'No one knows I'm here.' He thought as he found himself wandering over to his outdoor pool.
He walked around and circled the edges of it maybe three times, then settled at the end of the diving board.



He took a sip of wine and stared at the reflection of himself in the pool below. Rolling his eyes back, he took another sip, tilting his head all the way back but only saving two sips in the bottom. He set it near the back of the diving board.
He began to swing his legs, which were dangling off of the diving board.
"It's hot out here," He muttered. He brushed his bangs back off of his sweaty forehead. He scooted closer to the end of the diving board and scooped up some water in his cupped hands.
Axl raised his arms and poured water like rain onto his head. He gave out a sigh, letting it run over his face. He wiped off his mouth and eyes. The wind began to blow and that was when he decided to stumble back inside.

As he entered the house through the back door, it slammed behind him and made him jump, then out of annoyance he punched through the screening on the door.
Axl felt the alcohol's effects starting to wear off, and it was then that the wall phone rang. Axl set his wine glass on the counter.
Axl's head jerked, and his eyes widened. He started to curse under his breath.
"Who in the hell called me this late?" he complained. Axl's anxiety rose again, and all he could guess was that it was Doug Goldstein trying to call him back about last-minute arrangements. His hands shook as his body stiffened.
"No one thinks you're home... No one knows you're home."
He picked up the telephone.
"Hello?" asked Axl.
Just as he thought, Doug answered the phone and seemed very polite about it.
"Hey, Axl. I didn't want to bother you, but I knew you were always up around these hours, and I wanted to remind you that we still don't have any confirmation about the setlist order."
He held the phone tighter than before.
"You see, you've sent us the specific songs you wanted to do, but we need the order before the show, and we've gotta get it out to the other guys because honestly, it's unacceptable. You've been out of contact for who knows how long, and we've sent people over there to check on you, and they have been completely ignored by you and your concerned parties, so you're gonna have to give it up, pal. Just work on the setlist-"
Axl interrupted.
"Don't you see that I'm trying?! You're talking shit about my "concerning parties" but yours are the ones that are knocking on my door, and climbing over my gates just to see if I'm "doing okay!" Consider your options! Fire 'em or you're done! These creeps are blocking my security cameras and climbing into my bedroom window at three 'o'clock in the morning! Ever consider privacy?!" He hung up the phone.
He stood there, his blood pumping. Doug called again, but this time Axl didn't dare to answer.
The constant ringing depressed him for a reason he didn't know. He walked over to the counter and leaned against it. He didn't feel as angry anymore but felt weighted to the spot where he stood. He looked over just inches from him and noticed he hadn't finished his drink.
He drained the rest of the wine glasses' contents. He then threw the empty glass to the ground, smashing it in drunken anger, before dropping to his knees. His headache and his head began to get warm. His stomach twisted, and he began to cough.



He grasped what was left of the wine glass off of the ground and held it tightly. Axl cuffed his hands unto his face, as a poor attempt to hide himself. Startled, his girlfriend Stephanie Seymour woke up from the sleep Axl wished he had gotten.
He took his hands off his face and tried wiping away his tears, not knowing what else he could do.
He dreaded long conversations about feelings, that's why he'd held it in for too long, it made him tired and emotionally drained.
"Axl, it's okay! Don't move, you're okay." Stephanie quickly reassured him as she strode into the kitchen with panic in her voice. She was shocked to see Axl curled up on the ground underneath the bar and immediately moved to cradle him in her arms. Axl still felt terrible, yet better because she was there.
As Axl hung his head in sorrow, she wiped away the tears streaming down his face.

"Please don't cry. What's got you like this? This is so unlike you.." Stephanie tilted her head and stared at him in curiosity, her eyebrows pressed together.
Axl began to sob more, just reflecting on everything. The loss of band members, innocence, and love for himself. Small things are not able to cheer him up anymore. It was a terrible night, and he had to start the tour feeling this way. He had broken his promise about drinking, and how he shouldn't cause problems while Dylan, his stepson, was there. He couldn't keep promises, not even something as simple as writing a setlist.
"Don't take it so hard, okay? You're stressing yourself out." She said this sternly, to get him straight. Her eyebrows furrowed, as she took the rest of what remained of the stem of the wine glass. She pulled it away easily and set it on the floor next to him as if he was too shaken to hold on to it. She took his warm hands in hers and began to rub the back of his hands with her thumbs, hoping to calm him down a bit. Usually, he was hard to stop during an outburst.

Axl at least was able to speak now and began to explain himself, his voice shaky.
"I've been extremely stressed lately. The touring... I do love touring but, it's stressful, and the drinking, I know I promised, but I wanted these feelings to be gone for you, and Dylan-"
Stephanie put her hand on his cheek and turned his head toward her. Axl ceased talking.
Their eyes met, and suddenly they both exchanged emotions from a single glance. Axl's eyebrows twitched as his lip quivered. She then promised him she would accompany him on the first show, and that she would not leave him alone. He could not believe he was so lucky to have this woman as his girlfriend, but he was still a sopping heap of tears and emotion sitting on the kitchen floor.