Always and Never

part 3

I feel my facial expression drop even more, "what happened?" I asked worried. 

"Not now" replies my dad before telling me to walk up home and have a shower. Making sure to congratulate me on my performance before he turns and away and begins talking to my mum again. I simply sigh and begin to trod up the hill home before peeling off my sweaty uniform and hopping in the shower.

Once I was finished and dressed in a fresh pair of sweats, I walked out to the kitchen table where both my parents were waiting expectantly. I gulp down my nerves and hesitantly take a seat opposite them, knotting my fingers together out of habit under the table.

"Your mum and I were thinking' Began my dad before looking towards his wife for support; "We want you to quit football" she finishes off for him before quickly averting her eyes from my instantly angry ones.

I was outraged, asking myself how they could say such a thing after the performance I had just had. The cogs in my brain began turning and before I could do anything about it the negative thoughts started filtering in- "they know you are not good enough, they are doing you a favour'.

I looked at them expectantly through my narrowed blue eyes, waiting for an explanation. My dad sighed before explaining that they can't continue watching me play a sport where I am constantly putting my body on the line for receiving life threatening injuries. They wouldn't stand for it. I felt dejected, I knew I couldn't be mad because they were only actinging on their paternal instincts. I should have realised that the injuries were having effects on them to. I turned towards my mum before asking if there was any point in arguing or if it was a closed matter.

She shook her head and aplogised before saying "I am sorry Skye, but I would prefer you to be chasing a different dream then not be here chasing a dream at all", hinting that she had known about my ambitions all along. I took a deep breath and nodded, being too exhausted to argue a case I knew I was going to loose. I excused my self fron the table and went to my room, flopping down face first onto my bed and staring at the photograph of Evelyn, Caitlin and I after the grandfinal last year. Massive smailes on our faces with the gold medal between our teth. it will forever be one of my favourite memories.

I thought about texting the groupchat and telling the girls what had happened but decided that i didn't want to take any action that would cement that it was real yet. So instead I put in my noise cancelling airpods and let my sad vibes playlist fill my ears, trying desperately to avoid the tears that were edging out of my eyelids. It proved too difficult, with my cheeks soon wet and puffy as I tried to find comfort in myself and my collection of childhood stuffies, each one with a unique name that baby Skye had given them.

I was just really really defeated.

After what felt like years but was most definitely a maximum of 5 minutes I heard a tentative knock at my bedroom door. After replying weakly to enter, Skye turned her body around and Morris stood at the door with a bowl of popcorn and a hopeful smile. Skye sniffled and patted the bed next to her inviting him in;

"I thought you might want to watch a movie" he asked with his big brown eyes wide. After agreeing and caving to his consistent suggestion of watching Big Hero 6, Skye found herself smiling down at her youngest brother who was fighting to stay awake next to her. Reaching down and pausing the movie, Skye ignored his whines of protest and picked him up with ease, carrying him next door into his bedroom before laying him down and pulling the covers up. Closing the blinds, unlike she does for herself, she padded back to his bed and placed a soft kiss to his temple, so thankful for him in that moment.

When returning to her room, Skye sighed before pulling her hoodie off and throwing on a loose sleep shirt, quickly admiring her toned figure in the mirror, glad that her hard work was paying off at the gym. Thinking over her commitment to weights Skye further came to the realisation that she has a drive that can be ignited again, and that although her AFL dreams might be over, it doesn't mean that she cannot ignite a different passion, a stronger one.

With that thought in mind and a promise that she will do some deep thinking tomorrow, Skye wafts into a mostly uninterrupted sleep, preparing her body and mind for the school week that was up and coming.