PAINFULLY TRUTHFULL, THE UNLOVED MAN.

My Dearest Of Wisdom Eyes.

I never really held you in my arms even though you held me in your arms and I felt like a lighthouse illuminating me like the dreary and lonely sailor I was, those little caresses that made me feel like a complete man full of life, every time our eyes met and I imagined a complete life with you, the promise I made myself not to shave my moustache until I got over you, my darling with the eyes of wisdom, my hidden love.Eight long and long-suffering years ago, I met a woman whose name comes from and has the meaning of wisdom. This woman I met by chance in a room full of ordinary people including me. Inside that room were pure apes disguised as humans, until she arrived, my dear one with eyes of wisdom, an angel that God sent into my life, her hair looked soft like a fine Japanese cloth, her beautiful eyes that looked like a forest with its two turquoise water lagoons, her beautiful smile that made me admire her for hours, I remember that we looked at each other a lot, our looks crossed for a long time, then I talked to you and we realized that we had the same musical tastes at that time, we talked about our favorites bands. Then we started talking more often and became friends.

This story of falling out of love is short, because for years I hid my deep feelings for you. I remember the first time I told you that I liked you, I told you that I didn't know how to approach you now that I had confessed my love, you answered with a simple but perfect "talk to me as you have always done", after that I tried to talk to you as always, but fear consumed me and you met him. Oh how I longed to be him, to be able to kiss your sweet lips for which I begged to taste, to hold you in my arms and bring our hearts together, to feel a burning flame of love, but no. I was so afraid. For 7 years I kept silent about my feelings, you without knowing it were the muse that gave me inspiration.I remember perfectly that trip we made as a group, that tour, where even when you were with him we crossed our gazes, at least ten times, I don't remember where we went, because my mind only thought of your beautiful eyes and your fine golden hair. I remember the smell of the wet grass and the soaked trees that made me nostalgic, I remember when I walked through a town square and we met on a bench, maybe for you it was not important, but it was my heart that was in vital risk. I remember you coming close to me, I remember when I drunkenly told you that you were a good friend when I really wanted to tell you that I loved you with all my being. The years passed and after disappearing for a while, I came back and expressed my deep love for you, even though I didn't tell you that it was eight years of loving you, I told you everything, and my love was thrown away like a cigarette butt.

Then one more year passed, and recently about a week ago I confessed to you through instagram how much I loved you, that I still do even though you made me go through a living hell after you ended up destroying me, by a long message I confessed to you that I loved you for eight long years, that I had changed a lot and it was time to say goodbye to this broken heart, to this hidden love, to this loveless, loveless, unloving love. You weren't even able to read the message. I can't hate someone who was once the reason for my happiness.I still haven't shaved my moustache, when did I make that promise? A month ago, the way things are going I'll end up like Friedrich Nietzsche, even though I've been scorned twice in the last couple of years, I still love you with all my heart, Sofia Ivania.

I know if I have the chance to meet you again, like i did all those years ago, I know I will let you go either way, because, as a last gesture of my love to you my darling of wisdom eyes, may you go and follow your path, and myself follow mine, because deeply inside of me, I know I am not the one you love, or the one that makes you laugh, but you my dear, you are the one for me, so  now on, I'll focus on letting my moustache grow, because i cannot get over you Sofia Ivania.

I loved you always...and I always will.