TW: suicide
(I may make another part maybe not🤷♀️)
||Kyle's POV||
All I can hear Stan go on and on about to Wendy. I can't stand how much he talks about Wendy. It's always 'Wendy this! Wendy that!!' I'm so sick and tired my chest always aches in pain when I hear her name. I get this overwhelming urge to curl up and sob my heart out. I always distance myself away from him but even if he just says hi i give it one more chance. He has my around his finger. I'd do anything for this boy. How couldn't you? He has raven colored hair with terrible and poorly bleached hair, He has very beautiful grey blue eyes with a lot of details in them. He sometimes wears his red and blue hat that he wore as a kid. He's a little shorter than me which makes it easy to put my arm on his shoulder as a rest of support but I can't do that anymore because Wendy's always in his arms. Sometimes i wish i could be Wendy. I mean how could I not? All I am is a teenager with red hair and an afro head. I have freckles that covers every inch of me. I have eye bags under my wyes because of how much work i do for myself and everyone else because nobody knows how to take care of themselves. I'm tall and lanky i hardly have any muscle. I'm made fun of because I'm a Jew which people think I'm dramatic for but if it happens enough times it gets to you. I always get angry at my loved ones and hurt them because i can't control my anger. I just can't get over how much i wish i could change about myself. Wendy's the definition of perfection in everyone's eyes. She's respectful, intelligent, kind, popular and dating Stan Marsh. She has black hair that flows down to her lower back. She has many great friends, she knows how to stick up for other people and herself, she's not afraid to speak out her opinion or feelings to anyone. She has good style and treats everyone equally and doesn't hold grudges against others. unless they deserve it. Aka Cartman. At this point we're now we're at the bus stop waiting for the bus. He's still going on about her and I'm just looking down at the ground holding back my tears. I hate crying. It makes me feel less of a man but I can't control it when my best friend is my life long crush and i know that he'll never take me for consideration because I'm a male with a redhead afro, a jew, Insurance and gay. I start feeling the tears roll down my face i just walk past Stan and start walking home. I can't do it. I can't stand listening to him go on about Wendy it hurts me too much I feel exhausted from all the thoughts and crying I just wanna go home lay in bed and just cry until i'm over him. which that would mean i'd never stop crying but what's the point. I could just confess to him get rejected and then i'll get over him right? I'm pretty sure that's how it works but for now distancing myself is my safest and best option. I get home and just run upstairs and slam my door get in bed and just sob in my pillow until i pass out from too much crying.
||When he wakes up||
I sit up in my bed dizzy and very tired but well rested because i just cried out every last tear in me. I grab my phone to check it. I see a text from Stan i just swipe down on it ignoring him and put my phone on do not disturb. It's past dinner so i just go downstairs to grab some water. Once I get down there I see Stan sitting at the dining table I stood there frozen not knowing what could happen next. He looks up me and then makes a shock and worried expression
"Oh my god Kyle! Your face it's all red you look like you've been crying for hours! Dude are you okay?"
I clam myself a little and begin to speak
"Oh um I'm fine..I'm just getting water. What are you doing at my house..?"
Stan looked annoyed at me
"Well if you checked your phone you would've seen the eight messages asking why you walked off and telling you that I was coming over to check on you."
I look down at my phone and look up at Stan
"Stan go home."
Stan stood up from his seat and came closer to me.
"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."
I clench my fist.
"Stan get out please. I don't want you here right now."
I look down at the floor tears threatening to fall out
"Dude I just want to help you-"
I grab him by the collar with hot angry tears streaming down my face onto his shirt.
"STAN! Get out of my house I don't want talk. Please..."
Towards the end of my sentence I just breakdown giving up. He's hurt me so much I can't help but dropping to the floor with my pale hands covering my face. I'm so mentally drained. Stan just stood there. He got down on my level and just hugged me. He didn't say anything. He sat there holding me like i was some fragile child. I just cried and hit his chest repeatedly telling him it's all his fault. He sat there and accepted my words. After 15 minutes i finally clam down and look at him in the eyes. The ones that i'll always truly love that will never love me back i smile at him and let my tears fall again.
"Dude why are you smiling and crying at the same time?"
I spoke with my broke voice
"You'll never understand. You'll never know how it feels Stan. Keep it like that. You don't deserve to feel the pain i feel."
He looks at me very concerned and scared.
"Kyle? Are you really okay..?"
I smile at him.
"I'm fine Stan. I'm just being dramatic. Meet me up in my room in ten minutes and make sure to grab me my phone okay?"
He nods his head hesitantly.
"What are you going to do up there?"
I roll my eyes at him.
"I'm gonna go jerk off. I'm just going to change and then we can watch a movie together."
I smile. He chuckles and starts making popcorn.
||Stan's POV||
I walk upstairs 6 minutes earlier with popcorn in my right hand and his phone in my left pocket. I open the door to see a dark room but...Something...Hanging..? I turn on the light to see my childhood best friend hanging. Hanging from the ceiling. I drop the popcorn and scream. I race over to him and look on his bed to see a suicide letter. For multiple people but the one that's on top is...For me..? I shove it away and grab the pocket knife from his drawer and cut him down and calling 911. I cut the rope from his neck and start screaming at him
"YOU PIECE OF SHIT! YOU CAN'T DIE ON ME. DON'T YOU REMEMBER OUR PROMISE?!?"
I sat on my knees crying near his body waiting for the ambulance to arrive. Once they got here everyone was around the Broflovski's house. Asking what happened I couldn't respond for the traumatic event that was in front of me. I look around at everyone Marjorine/Butters was hugging Kenny supporting him. Cartman stood in shock not being able to say anything with a somewhat guilty look on his face. I didn't care about anyone else I just carried about making sure Kyle wouldn't die on me.
||Timeskip to the hospital||
I sat there next to Kyle while he lays unconscious I couldn't even look at him. The only thing i have to look at is the paper i never read. I decided to read it.
"To my dear beloved one and only true love Stan.
If you're reading this it means I'm dead. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you with how much pain you've put me through. It's not your fault it's gods. Love is such a beautiful things isn't it? It is when you're with your one and only true love. I've always known it was always you but you only ever loved Wendy. Ive known i always loved you ever since the 4th grade. We've been through thick and thin with each other and i know i promised you will always be super best friends. But it's time you move on and find someone else to honor in my place. Like Kenny maybe. I'm sorry Stan I've always lied to you telling you that I'm okay or that I don't like anyone. It's always been you and I never told you because you love Wendy not me. And I'm okay with that as long as you're happy i'm happy. or so i thought. my overwhelming feelings for you always got worse the more you were with me the move the feelings would increase. I could never stay away from you we've always been by each other and we will be forever even if i'm not there with you right now. I'll always be there. Come visit my grave stone and please visit my family for me. Also I wish you and Wendy the very best of luck. I hope you grow old and have kids I know that's what you always have dreamed of. This is my last I love you and goodbye. So I'll say it again.
I love you Stanley Marsh Goodbye maybe will meet in another life time.
From your dearest Super Best friend Kyle."
I couldn't stop sobbing I can't believe I didn't notice the behavior I was always talking about Wendy and always with her that I forgot about my best friend. My thought's suddenly stopped when a heard to heart monitor start going crazy I yelled for the doctors I stood there having a panic attack grabbing onto Kyle telling him not to leave me yet and that i still need him. The doctors pushed me off shoving outside of Kyle's room I'll always remember that night.
