BSD Oneshots (REQUESTS OPEN)

Lucky Guess

Summary: In which Atsushi guesses Dazai's former profession correctly.

     "I..I..I'm so sorry!" The red Head bowed his head over the table as Atsushi sat there stiffly, Not knowing how to react to the situation. Kunikida watched quietly at the sidelines as  Dazai bounced around his seat playfully. "Though it was your exam, I was so rude to you.." He raised his head slightly, maintaining eye contact with Atsushi.

   "My name is Tanizaki Junichirou. I work as an assistant of sorts at the agency.." He muttered.

"Please. It's all right.." Atsushi waved his hand around nervously. He's not a bad person afterall, Atsushi sighed with relief.

"And this is—"

"I'm his little sister Naomi!" She jumped on top of him as she pulled Tanizaki in for a tight hug.

"Y-You're siblings?!" Atsushi judged, "I-I'm not sure I see a family resemblance.."

"Oh? You doubt us?" She caressed her finger through onto Tanizaki's face and all the way to his chest. "Of course we're siblings by blood." She said with her hand under his shirt. "We're quite similar... especially this part." Tanizaki stood there with his head tilted back and mouth wide open, "Isn't that right.. brother?"

"Oh.. but-" Atsushi mouth hanged open.

Kunikida popped up suddenly in front of him, "Don't pursue this line of inquiry with them too far." He said sternly.

"Err.. okay.." Atsushi reads between the lines.

"In any event, brat. Today you have joined the ranks of our Armed Detective Agency.." He pushed his glasses up. "Do not be a burden to anyone nor shame the Agency's good name!" Kunikida yelled at the two 'siblings'. "The rest of us are committed to that. At least. Isn't that right Dazai?"

"Would you strangle me with these fragile delicate fingers~?" He held out one of the worker's hand and caressed her palm, following each line embedded into it.

Kunikida angrily stomped over and smacked Dazai on the head, "Are you going to smear mud on the Agency's name right as I'm saying we never would?! You bastard! Don't  bother asking for her help all the time!" Atsushi sighed at the sight of Kunikida's bickering. "I'll crush your neck with my own bony fingers!" Kunikida tightened his hand around Dazai's neck as Dazai waved his arms in the air.

"By the way.. what were both of you doing before you joined the Agency?" Atsushi tilted his head.

"Huh?!" They both yelled in unison.

"Uh, no real meaning behind that question, by the way.." Atsushi smiled sheepishly

"Take a guess" Dazai said calmly, his front against the back of his seat.

"Huh?"

"Oh. It's a game we play often" Now the two siblings sat still, facing Atsushi's direction. "The rookie tries to guess his senior colleagues former occupations. Well, it's part of their training as private investigators."

Atsushi stared intensely at the two siblings, squinting his eyes. "Tanizaki and Naomi.. were students..?"

"Oh! Bingo! I'm impressed!" Tanizaki clapped his hand with surprise, "How did you know?" Naomi asked

"I heard you were a part time worker.. and I thought you might still be a student given your uniform.. Tanizaki seems close to me in age, so.... It was just a hunch.." He smiled meekly.

"Honesty is virtue! What about Kunikida?" Dazai turned his head over to him. Kunikida spit his coffee out at the mention of his name, "Who cares about what I used to be?!" Atsushi stared intently and squinted his eyes, "Public.. worker? Maybe an offical?!"

"Close.." Dazai grinned. "Kunikida was s teacher~"

"Yeah...That checks out" Atsushi grimaced at the image of Kunikida banging on a blackboard. "What about you Dazai?" He turned his attention back to Dazai.

Kunikida burst out laughing as Dazai sat there with a lazy look. "I'll give you 10,000 yen if you get it correctly" Dazai said singsongy.

Atsushi's head perked up at the mention of money. "Cashier?"

"Nopee~"

"Nurse?"

"Nada~"

"Detective?"

"Im one now silly!"

"Police officer!"

"Come on you're not even trying!"

Atsushi groaned, he buried his face into his hands

"You give up?" Dazai seemed to taunt.

Atsushi peeked through his fingers, giving Dazai one last look. "...Mafia boss?"

Kunikida howled with laughter, clutching onto his stomach. Dazai sat there with an amused look on his face. Atsushi buried deeper into his hole of embarrassment and never planned to come out.

Finally, Dazai hummed "Close enough~"

That made Kunikida take a pause into his fit of laughter. Atsushi looked up at him and soon, everybody in the shop stared at him.

"My my, you're getting me all shy if all of you look at me like that!" He giggled. "I was a Mafia executive." He buried his hands deep into his pockets and slapped the yen onto Atsushi's face.
"Congratulations Atsushi for being the first person to guesss!"

"You bastard! You had money this whole time?! Use that to pay your tab!" The lady working at the register screamed. Dazai only laughed as he ran away.

Atsushi meekly chuckled , "Umm.. I'll pay for his tab..."