Under the damp, starlight filled summer night I buttoned up my cardigan and proceeded down the flight of stairs further into the train station. Maintenance lights faultily flickered and the walls were building up moss formations on them. There was not another soul but me when I arrived on the train platform.
My bangs fluttered diagonally in the almost sing-song pattern of the wind. I held my bag tightly with both hands in front of my waist, and I waited. I waited for the train to arrive, as I once did with you.
Something is wrong, the breeze is hitting my eyes at a certain angle, a glacial angle.
My eyes become wrinkled with tears, they build up like a whirlpool, with little to no end in sight. The refreshing scent of the air makes me feel disgusted. Everything becomes a blur as I'm encompassed within past memories. Why now of all times, just what is this?!
I'm alone; alone again. Alone like it always was from the start. No matter how many times I tried talking to you, or made new friends along the way- I always end up back in this sequence of my life. Chiritori fills my airwaves, I can feel the static electricity of the night on the tip of my fingers.
Why is the night always so beautiful, serene and more peaceful than the day? Ahh that's right, it's due to the culmination of lights we've made to highlight our path forward. The overwhelming rays of the sun melting me are no longer present, it's only the cool air and a thousand flickering thoughts all manifesting as lights in the night sky.
Ah, I don't know how much of this I can take. After everything I did, everything I became for you- it still wasn't enough. It never is, with that- I want to fade into the night. I'll never be able to face it truthfully on my own, my next best chance is to get away from it all. Alone time floating acres above the shoreline.
With that being said, I gently nudge myself forward in front of the glowing headlights followed by the blearing horns of the night. My heart beats in unison with the mechanical thudding of the tracks. I look towards the stars.
I wish you were still with me.
