Letting My Tarnished Self Wither | 汚れた自分を枯れさせて

Chapter 2

As the embers of hatred flicker and rise around me...

I was making my dinner when my mother came home. "Hello, mother, how was work?" I asked, smiling at her. She seemed happy.

"Well, it was great, thank you for asking! How was school, Mafuyu? Has there been any news about tests or exams lately?" She asked, smiling back at me.

I felt my heart pound, but I didn't let it show on my face. "No news yet, and school was good. We just started learning about the brain in biology, so that was nice." I said quickly, dishing up my dinner and putting it on the table.

My mother didn't ask anything else, and I quickly ate my dinner so I could go upstairs. "I'm going to go do my homework now." I said before going upstairs and into my room, sighing with relief.

Kanade had sent me a sample of the new song we were making. I put on my headphones and listened to it. It sounded warm and inviting, but then switched to coldness. I was confused on the sudden difference, but I had some lyric ideas in my head.
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K
Did you like it, Mafuyu?

Yuki
It seems different. The sudden music switch was unexpected.

K
Is that a bad thing?

Yuki
It isn't. I have some lyric ideas. I'll send you them when I can.

K
Ok

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I closed my Nightcord tab and continued on my homework, listening to the sample Kanade sent me on loop until I was done. Then, I opened up a document tab on my computer and started writing lyrics for the song.

The ideas were rushing from my mind to the computer, text rapidly appearing on the screen until I had a full song. I saved the tab and copied the link before sending it to the Nightcord group chat.

Mizuki and Ena both liked it, and Kanade said they loved the idea. I then looked at the time.

01:23

That was the usual time we'd call, but it would be Saturday the next day, and I had cram school then, so I couldn't be online. I told the others I had to go, and then went to bed, dreading the next day.
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The next day

I waved goodbye to my mother, before walking out of the house, on my way to cram school. If I wanted to be a doctor, I would have to go there and revise to help improve my test results.

As I walked there, though, I felt a sinking feeling in my chest. "What is this.." I mumbled, slightly confused. Then, I had a sudden realisation. Today was when my school sent home report cards.

I stopped right in my tracks, and considered running home to intercept the mail and take out the report card, even though it would be impossible for me to run back there in time. I didn't even have the guts to do it.

"I'm screwed.." I mumbled to myself, before continuing to walk to cram school. I needed to do great and get perfect results.

I needed to be perfect.

...All the happiness I used to know burns before my eyes.
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AAAAA IM SO SORRY I HADNT UPDATED THIS FOR NEARLY 4 MONTHS

I PROMISE I'LL UPDATE MORE REGULARLY WITH LONGER CHAPTERS THAN THIS ;-;