Live as Me

chapter 6

Chapter 6
Tan Kim
I grabbed my chest, coughing and hitting on it. I couldn't pass out now... no, that would just be bad. Watching Miso for awhile, I decided it would be better for me if I just left. She looked happy with that guy anyway. What was his name? Was he also working at Comic? Not being myself, I frowned. I felt jealousy, which I shook out of my head. With that can I say that I was jealous? I was the one who let her go... no, I was the one who threw her away. It was good to see her though, especially to see that she was still smiling. I didn't have to worry.
"Sir." Secretary Bi said. I looked up from my crouched position. "Are you okay?" He asked.
I nodded. "I'll be fine." I said, getting up. We walked back to Comic. Still, I was expecting her to not go through with the internship if she thought she would see me here. Then to think over it, she was strong; much stronger than anyone I'd ever known, and something like me couldn't get in her way. If anything, I would support her. Except for the fact that she'd already moved on. I began to feel kind of bitter. Was I the only one that loved her so much that I couldn't stop hurting? But I really wasn't in any situation to be feeling this way. It was all my doing...
Sitting down at my desk, I waved over the Secretary Bi and whispered, "Can I have the intern list, please?" I asked.
"Why are you whispering, sir? Of course you can have them..." He said, closing the door and entering with a clip of papers.
I motioned for him to hurry and snatched the papers from him, but he was staring at me with wide eyes. It was probably because no one had ever seen me this way before... I tried to keep a good and serious image. "You can go now." I said, motioning him out. As soon as I heard the door shut, I grabbed the papers tightly and first searched for Miso. 'Miso Han' it said. And there was her picture on the left; she was smiling brightly. This was still when we were dating... I ran my fingers over her face and when I was finally done staring at it, I set it aside and went to looking for the guy in the coffee shop. What kind of a guy was he that she was falling for him already? Was I really that lacking that she would move on so quickly? I sighed, then stopped flipping the papers. I'd found him. I chuckled. Young Park. HA! What a name. I tried to think of something to make fun of, but to my disappointment, he was pretty good. He was good looking, tall, seemed nice, and had good enough skills to enter Comic.
I put aside the papers and leaned back in my chair, thinking of how I could make a chance for me to see Miso without her having to see me. Shaking the thought of her away, I picked up my pen and began to look through some papers for Comic, to see if I should accept some authors or not, but I couldn't concentrate. Every time I started to read one, I could only think about Miso and Young, and how widely she'd smiled at him. But I knew it was my fault so I couldn't figure out why I was so jealous and bitter that she'd moved on. Sighing, I stood up. Then I sat down again and put my hands on my forehead. Okay, it would just be easier if I hated her. I'll just hate her because she seemed too fine compared to me. I nodded and laughed. Secretary Bi gave me a weird look.
"Ah, haha." I said, looking at him and clapping my hands.
"Sir, are you sure you are okay?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.
I shook my hands in front of my face. "Oh, yes. I'm fine. Don't worry about me. But what do you say? Don't you think we should go meet with the interns?" I asked. His eyes widened and he kept blinking. "What?" I asked.
"But Mr. Kim, you said you hated interns... ever since you were an intern yourself for the two months... you said you hated every single one of them, whether you knew them or not." He said, looking at me with a worried look.
"Okay, yes. But I've changed my mind." I said, avoiding his gaze. I've known him for a long time, and since he was a little younger than me, we always joked around. He was something like my unrelated brother. And it was true. I did hate interning, and interns themselves. While I was interning for two months to learn about the company and my job, I had to work with some other held back interns, the ones who couldn't pass and would be evaluated again after two months. They had nothing to talk about except for how much they hated their superiors. Of course, I didn't think too greatly of them either, but I didn't think they should have been so careless to talk about them... they went through a lot too.
"Okay, if you want, we can go do that." Bi said.
I stood up and smoothed my hands over my suit and pants and fixed my hair into tidy little curls. "How do I look?" I asked.
Bi gave me a sly smile. "I get it now. She's here, isn't she? Your college love?" He asked.
I blushed. "No! Well, yes! But that's not why I want to see the interns." I said, shaking my hands.
"Come on, you can be honest with me." He said.
I smiled. "I know, but I don't want to be honest with myself." I said. With me in the lead, I walked down with confidence down the hallway, and walked into the elevator, and clicked 3. She was in the producing department so that's where I would go...
Ding. Bi stepped out and motioned for me to go out, and I stepped out with shaky legs and straightened myself again, and entered. People stood up everywhere and bowed.
"Hello, Mr. Kim." A flood of voices said.
I motioned for them to sit and keep working and put my hands behind my back, pretending to look around and see what they were doing, but in reality, I was looking for Miso. I leaned down in one of the desks. "Where are all the interns today?" I asked.
"They're all over there. With team leader Choi." The woman said.
I nodded to her. "Thank you." I said, and proceeded to walk to where Miso was sitting. When I got there, I stood in the middle, but my head was turned to Miso, whose head was turned to Young, and they were talking about something animatedly. I sighed, but still no one would look my way. Bi cleared his throat.
"Oh! Gosh! Mr. Kim!" Team leader Choi said, standing up and straightening her skirt.
"Hello." I said, waving and motioning for her to sit. She sat. "I was just wondering how the new interns were doing, and what you think of them." I said, smiling at her.
She blushed. I guess I shouldn't smile at her... I didn't want her to get the wrong impression. "They're good. And I have a good pair too. They get along really well. Miso! Young! Please come this way. This is our CEO, Mr. Kim." She said.
With my heart thumping loudly, I turned to face them. Miso's face turned cold again, but I could tell she looked kind of sad too. I was wondering how she would want it. Would she want me to pretend we didn't know each other?
"Hello, I'm Miso Han." She said, sticking out her hand and lowering her gaze. Well, there was my answer. She didn't want me to acknowledge her. I took her hand. It was the familiar feel; warm, small, and fitting right into my hand. I closed my eyes and let it go. It was too short...
"Hello, I'm Young Park." Young said, also sticking out his hand. I gave him a cold look but shook his hand politely.
"I was just checking up if any of our interns would be good enough to do this project for me?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and looking at the team leader.
She nodded. "Yes! Why don't you go, Miso?" She asked, turning her gaze to Miso and giving her a warm smile.
Miso nodded but didn't seem too happy about it. "Sure, team leader." She said.
"Okay then. Whenever you have time, please stop by at my office and I'll explain it to you." I said, then turned my back. In the background, I could hear the girl employees squealing and saying, 'our CEO is such a handsome guy... I wish he would look at me at least once.' or some other phrase like that. I sighed. Did Miso feel that way too?