Harry Potter//fob,p!atd,mcr,green day+

yesr 1

patricks pov
"ow! son of a fuck!" I yelled as my face smacked ito te wall of platform 9 3/4. who the fuck maeks the wntrance to a train a wall. what the actual shit.

well fck that im on the train now. hogwarts exptess. about halfeay through the ride some long haird boy opens the doer.

"have you seen a toad? some kid named ryan lost it. im andy #vegan #straightedge #xvx #1000xcoolerthanu #crossfit btw."

"no"

"bye"

"bye"

eventually the train pulls into the station. therss some weird bearded short dued. im distraced looking at him so i trip fown 12 steps in the malibu-u-u.

"yer! me name be frank, the midget-half giant."

"what the shit is a fucking midget-half giant?"

"yer? it be me"

"lol kk idc"

"cool story bro"

"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will fucking drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo."

"lil bitch ill fite you"

"shut up you midet-half giant"

i made ny way to the castle. it was a big but it was still smaleer than my dick ;). wow look at all these babyfaced tools. oh wait guess im a babyfaced tool too. we go inside. all these bitches starig at me. i know you want thwse lumps but you cant have em.

"studendts and teschers and that old pervo fuckboi dats been the janitor for years - like serioulsy bro, get a life - welcome to anothet magicalyear here at hogwarts schoo of witchcraft and wizardy. im - "

"witchcraft?! what the frickle frack?!" some lil turd screams. "i got on the wrong train" the boy starts to run.

"shoot him dwn, " the old bearded dude ralking sais. some goth teacher guy takes out a bazooka and blows the turd to bits. i like this scholl already.

"anywho before i continue any other lil fucks who cant handle the swag? no? good, you fuckerds. i am headmaster gabar "

what te fuck kind of name is gabar?

"before you aske 'ehat the fuck kind of name is gabar' it russian get over you shit. continuig on...hete you will learn how to fuck bitches, get money, and ride di-"