I love you.

Chapter 5

He kept hugging me, and he didn't stop. I didn't resist. I was so happy this was happening. Has he found out? Does he feel the same way? What's going on? The hug got stronger, and so did my love for him. I was in the moment, so I looked up.

In the process, our eyes connected and I kissed him, nope, not on the cheek. The lips. I screwed up our friendship. I was so screwed. "I'm so sorry, I-m, I'm so stupid" I said tearing up and running to the bathroom across the hall. "No destiny -" I cut him off when I ran. After about ten minutes, I got out of the bathroom slowly, and walked to my hospital room. "30B" the gold plate said. I walked into the room, to have him hug me tightly. "When are you leaving?" I asked concerned. "Well, in about a hour, but don't hate me..", there was a pause. "I'm going to see Ashley," he said "She wants to start over, and be careful about us breaking up again." He said. "Cool." I said dying in side my heart. Was pretending that the kiss never happened what he wants? I mean, he didn't resist the kiss. He kissed back.

The whole time, I was on my phone going threw my apps, texting people, I started the tear up. Me and Josh were never a thing, and never will be. I have to realize that. I have to get that threw my thick stupid skull. "I said don't hate me" he said. "I don't" I said looking up with my eyes tearing. "Dest-" he said concerned. "It's been a hour, maybe you should go to Ashley" I said wiping my tears away. "Bye Destybear" he said kissing my cheek. I didn't kiss back, or say bye. I just broke down. I didn't stop crying. I was done, I didn't want to continue with the pain for my love. I loved him.

Joshua's P.O.V

I walked out of Destiny's hospital room. I felt horrible. I made her cry, and Destiny has always been so strong. Why am I going back to Ashley? She's just jealous of the relationship Dest and I have. That kiss, was like a firework. I don't know why, Dest is just so innocent and sweet. Yeah, she can be a badass and tomboy, but she gets sensitive, and here I go leaving her for another girl, that is the reason she almost got killed.

I can't believe I acted like the kiss never happened. If anything, I know Destiny more then anyone, she likes being confronted. And I just didn't do anything, I kissed her back, but it's not the same. She didn't even say goodbye. How bad did I hurt her? Is she still crying? Ugh. She's so forgiving when I do this crap with her. And snuggling with her last night and hugging this morning, never felt so right. Like it was ment to be. Does she feel the same way? I mean, she kissed me. It was real, she's the best girl I've met. How could I be so stupid? Does she love me? Do I love her? The feelings are so unclear and it's like a foggy mirror. I can't reflect my feelings. She's my everything to me, when I thought I lost her, I-I-I lost it. Maybe I should leave town, the state. Never let myself hurt Destiny again. I met up with Ashley and we kissed. "I love you Joshie Poo" she said squeezing my cheek. "Ow" I said grabbing her arm and slowly bringing back to her waist. "I'm leaving town" I said, "I'm never coming back" I said tearing up. "Don't go, if you don't.. We can, you know" she said kissing my neck. "Ew, no", "no offense, but I'm waiting till marriage, and even if I wasn't, I wouldn't sleep with a jealous slut." I said pushing her off of me. "But Joshy, your my first." She said innocently in a high pitched voice. "Yeah, your first virgin" I said pointing to the door. We were in my house, and Destiny used to sleep with me in my bed when her anxiety was up, or her depression. I finally realized I was scared to admit my feelings for her this whole time. Ashley left as I kept packing my suitcase, tops, pants, shoes, boxers. I got all my pictures with me and Destiny, the photobooth, the selfies she took of us. And lastly, the notes she left me in my journal. Wow, I'm such a moron. I got my passport, and before I went to the airport, I went down the block to Destiny's house, went into her beautiful room, and seen her gorgeous face. I kissed her and left a note, "Destiny, I'm a horrible person, I won't hurt you anymore, I'm sorry I ever did. I can't believe I didn't realize how you and I felt about each other. You deserve so much better then an asshole like me that ignored that amazing kiss. It was like fireworks, your like fireworks, your like stars, except your the only one that shines. I love you Destiny, in both ways. You're the one, you've always been." And some tears fell on the paper.