M, or how she prefers, Anonymous M, is a girl who struggles with keeping up conversations and even worst, starting it. Joining a new discord sever (yes bishes its mfu.), she struggles to talk with the other users inside the server and thus decided to lurk around instead. This had been going on for several months until she stumbled across general one chat in the server.
She looked at other people talking on her screen while thinking,
"Is this how people socialize?"
"Can I be able to start conversations like this?"
"Will people hate me for barging in their conversation?"
She kept looking on her screen, watching the messages flow in one by one. The conversation going on there was so...interesting and fun, so fun that she wanted to join in. Something was holding her back from doing it, but what?
Anonymous M brushed the feeling off and continued to explore the server. So much had changed when she first joined, which was the first month the server had opened. New channel layouts, new channels to talk in and more.
While scrolling through the channels, she found a vent channel. But before tapping on the screen, she thought that does she need to vent? If so, what? Her insecurities? Her struggles to talk to people?-
That's it!
But is it really necessary? Eh. As long as there's a place where she can get things heavy of her chest, it's fine. So she got to work, putting the heavy, painful words and memories together into one single paragraph.
After some minutes, the vent is now done. She looked at her words. "Was this okay? Am I sure I'm not going to get called out for this...in a bad way?"
She took a deep breath...and hit send.
(If the image doesn't appear, go to the vents channel, go to the search and search for my user and in the channel vents (ofc) and the date is either 23rd or 24th july<3)
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So this how it feels to finally feel this heavy feeling float away from your insides, as if something was free from the cage of despair and struggles.
She looked at the screen again and saw the paragraph being sent. It was a long one, but not as long and painful as others, in her perspective.
Now that the vent things were done. She decided to rest. But she didn't. She decided to look at the gen 1 again. The conversation kept going, but with different people. She sighed. When will she ever find the courage to talk? Hopefully, soon. If she ever had the effort to do it.
Minutes later, Anonymous M got a notification. It was a reply for her vent.
One of the users, rene came to reply to her vent. rene replied that she doesn't need to be scared of talking to anyone in the server and the mods are always friendly and won't be pissed if she joined in, the mods will always welcome someone into their conversations. This made Anonymous M feel comforted. So she decided to try and finally talk to other people without anything holding her back from making new friends.
So then, Anonymous M isn't Anonymous M anymore, she now goes by the name Marsie. ----------------------------------------------------------
Music that I listened while writing this<3:
- hallucinogenic - Matt Maeson - mountain sound - Of Monsters and Menq - Fire and the flood - Vance Joy - Silver and Gold - WILD -Ho hey - The Lumineers -Home - Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros -Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men
