Today I came home from uni and went staight to my bed. After Trying to look like I was happy for 10 hours while desperately praying for a stranger to come to talk to me and to become my friend. Of course today again, none of that happened. I called my parents and got into an argument with them because of issues with my bank account. They did nothing wrong, however, they felt like the only people that would forgive me if I got angry and frankly I was angry. Not at them, at me. I was so tired but not doing anything then, I would go back home, and stare at my phone endlessly hoping to laugh at a strangers video or for my friends to ask for me. Then I get up to make food because I live alone and it takes so long to make. I eat it alone on the floor because my table is uncomfortable. I try to open the TV to feel like I am less alone but nothing is interesting. Then I get up, do the dishes and it's already 9PM but I did no homework, talked to no new people who gave me their contact and lost so many opportunities. To finish my day of I have to remind myself that I am in a way better place than some people, I am fortunate enough to have a lovable apartment and food provided by my parents. Ah, my parents, I feel so bad for getting angry at something that was not their fault but the bank's. Then I remember mother did say I was the annoying spoiled and stupid little kid. Well she is not wrong but I did no want to here that now like they did not want someone to get angry at them. I feel bad and then I go to bed. In the sheets I sat to tear up, I don't know what I am doing here, I want to go back home, I want to see people that care for me not strangers that don't know I exist everyday and don't talk to me. I don't want to be ignored all day and alone at night. Then I remember I did not do my homework yet, Ah, I cry some more. After 15mintes I calm down and now my head hurts, I can't work like that so I open my phone and read a bit. Suddenly I look at the time, it's past midnight, I have to wake up at six, sh*t. I cry some more and realises I am only goo I complaining but have no energy to do anything else. The exam is coming, I did not work, I got no friend and my family is mad at me.
We are the 4th of September and already, I am tired.
YOU ARE READING
I am Tired
Non-FictionHave you ever felt like that ? Like you have so many things to do, so many people and their expectations weighing on you. Felt like no one understood ow you felt because it is just more convenient to not say anything and be either angry or passive...
