Jaana : The Girl He Loved Too Much

Chapter 38

Keeping his legs on the table, Shahzain watched his cigarette smoke forming clouds as he rested his head at the back of the leather chair. His gaze was stuck at the envelope he is holding what could she had written. He thought.

What if she wrote for help to take her away from me.
But why, she said she loves me, was she lying.

The voices in his head was wrangling over all the possibilities.

Why would she lie? There wasn't any need. I had accepted that she will never love me then why would she lie to me?

What if she lied to win my trust so that she can leave me.

No! She can never leave me. Never.

Should I read this?

No Shahzain it's her personal letter, it's bad to read someone's letter.

What the fuck is personal, she is mine, and I have full rights on her. What is personal from me. Of course I can read the letter.

This is so petty.

But she is mine, how's this wrong.

A knock on the door broke his internal battle and he hid the envelope under his laptop on the table with a haste "Come in" he said flatly.

"Shahzain" Sitara entered his study with a smile. The smile that he craves whole day. "When did you come? How come I am getting to know this that you are home just now, that too because I saw the lights on in this room. Roz ki tarah mere paas pehle kyu nahi aae? " (Why you didn't come to me like everyday?) She asked surprised. This is something new, he comes to her everyday before he does anything else. He says he already had to spent whole day apart from her, he don't want to spend another second without her. He always meet her first even before he washes up then how come today he didn't see her first.

"Yeah I had some work" he said flatly resulting in a frown on her face. Have some work, weird, she thought. She didn't expect such a nonchalant reply from him, but he was anxious. He was angry at her that she tried to send a letter behind his back and worried thinking of all the possible reasons of why. She wanted to ask him the reason behind his coldness but decided to put that thought aside thinking it might be just her vague doubt.

The peonies on the table confirmed that she might be just overthinking, and soon her frown turned into a smile, "Wow, such pretty flowers, ye mere liye hain, ab tak diye kyu nahi?" (Are these for me, why haven't you given it yet) she said cheerfully. Taking the bouquet she smelled the fragrance with closed eyes and broad smile taking in all the love. "No" the word broke her musings and her eyes shot open. "No, they-they are for Bahar's daughters." he said avoiding looking at her. "Oh" she said keeping them back. "I-I am sorry I thought- anyways they are beautiful I am sure they will love them" she said with a soft smile.

Something is off, should I ask him she thought to herself. She never got a cold vibe from Shahzain but today he seems in a bad mood. She was fighting the confusion to ask or not when he brushed passed her with his leather jacket toppled over his shoulder, "Shahzain," she called him before he could stepped out of the room "Aap kahi jaa rahein hain?" (Are you going somewhere?) she asked him, "Yes".

"Are you going to meet the children? Can I also come? I have heard so much about them, I want to meet them." she said

"Some other day maybe" he said without turning towards her making her smile die down a little. But it was not a shocker that he didn't want to take her out and she had made peace with his possessiveness. She never demands going out but since lately he did take her out so she felt this is not impossible and she is asking to go somewhere which is a part of his life only so she didn't think he will deny but yet thought to let it go instead of arguing.