Chapter 1: A Change of Direction

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~~~ The Headache of Divination ~~~

"It might be supposed," declared Professor Trelawney in her soft, misty voice late in the September of Harry's fourth year at Hogwarts, "that the meaning of each card is quite fixed and not open to other, more subtle interpretations..."

Lavender Brown's mouth opened in a big round 'O' but no sound came out.

Harry, too, suppressed his instincts, swallowing a low moan as he rolled his eyes in Ron's direction. He was certainly feeling drowsy from the dense fragrance that hung like a cloud in the Divinations classroom but that was not the main cause of his discomfort. A headache was threatening and he was bitterly regretting ever opting for the subject of foretelling the future. He had already sneaked a look at his top card and had, for once, been hopeful that the teacher could find nothing ominous in it.

"Swaps?" Ron hissed softly to Harry, "I got Sun, Moon, and Stars which can't be good all together in the daytime surely? What you got?"

"Some bloke with a bent leg," whispered Harry, sliding it over in return for one of Ron's.

"Miss Patil, my dear, if you would, please?" intoned Trelawney supplementing her speech with a dramatic flourish of her arms.

Almost trembling, Parvati turned over her first card. "It's... the Hierophant!"

Ron tried – but failed – to suppress a snigger. It came out like a snick. Trelawney rounded on him, her eyes, mantis-magnified by the thick lenses of her spectacles, blinked as slowly as an owl in the gloomy crimson haze.

"Mr Weasley, if you would offer your insights?"

"Erm... might it be a sort of elephant only... uh... higher?"

A long sigh of disappointment came from between the professor's lips. The breath went on and on, and Harry wondered idly if she had truly expired standing up. Hopefully, he thought, with a gleeful malevolence. However, there was enough air remaining for her to faintly expend a last extended gasp with, "Your first card, Mr Weasley?"

Ron turned over the one which Harry had slipped to him.

"Uuh... it's just some poncey git with his leg cocked over.."

"Fool, Mr Weasley! You've played the Fool card! What of your other two? Relationship is everything in the Tarot, as I'm sure you already know."

"Mmm... the Sun and... let's see... the Stars," he replied, acting as if he didn't already know.

"Well, I think then you might expect a foolish, heated exchange before nightfall, don't you?"

Harry felt the teacher's beady eyes fall upon himself and he winced. Next to Potions, Double-Divination was his second worst nightmare and the migraine was worsening. His scar was beginning to prickle with pain and he rubbed at it ferociously. Another hour of this and he'd explode.

"Mr Potter? Could you...?"

He snapped over his card which he knew was the Moon card but he hadn't seen the other two yet.

Professor Trelawney shrieked then sank (carefully) onto a nearby pouffe, hand clutched theatrically at her throat, and with eyes (almost) closed.

"My dear boy – my poor dear boy – no – it is kinder not to say – no – don't ask me..."

I won't, groaned Harry to himself. He looked at the man-in-the-moon face crudely drawn on the ancient card. "Umm... I'll be going on a journey beyond this world where I shall need to escape a raving bug-eyed creature before I can get back?" He stared with some significance at Trelawney's copious eyeballs.

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