Who Is She

Chapter One - "It Started With One Sentence"

It all started with one sentence on a rainy day:

"Russell, I'm pregnant," Nancy said, the nerves shaking at her vocal chords.

I was only nineteen when she told me those words. We both were. I could understand her being nervous and all, but it was the uncertainty in her voice that scared me. About forty percent of me was happy that she was pregnant, but the other sixty percent was filled with nerves.

I didn't know how to take care of myself let alone a child. My job selling coffee wasn't going to be enough to take of her, the child, and myself. I was willing to try, though.

In all honesty, I loved Nancy. She was the one. She was my high school sweetheart and we had been dating since the ninth grade. Everyone told me that she was no good, that she had quite a reputation, but I didn't believe them. We were in the ninth grade, she was too young to have a "past". Towards the end of our relationship, I wished that I could've gone back in time and listened to my friends.

Nancy and I did everything together. We both graduated together and we even planned on going to college. I threw away my life for her. My parents never really liked her, but back then, I didn't understand why. By the time senior year came around I was a legal adult, my parents gave me two options: get rid of Nancy, or leave their household. Yeah, my parents were rough. But now I realize that they only wanted the best for me.

I chose Nancy and God I wish I hadn't. I had everything going for me that year. I had a job, I had a car, I had a beautiful girlfriend, together we had a small apartment, I wanted to travel the world, I had goals and she ripped it all away from me.

And it all started with that one sentence. Well, not particularly that sentence, but the one after that:

"I-It may not be yours," she looked down at her twirling thumbs.

I don't know what came over me, I felt like I blacked out because I can't remember the entire situation all too clearly. I remember a lot of yelling, and my fist bleeding from punching holes in the walls. I also remember tears. Yes, I cried over her, only because I realized how much of mistake I made when I started dating her.

"Ha, you have to be joking with me." Nancy loved to joke with me all the time.

"Rus-"

"No! You tell me that you're goddamn joking or I swear to-" I had to stop myself. I gripped my hair, pulling out a few strands. My heart was racing. I could feel my face contorted with anger. The calm, laid-back demeanor I usually possess was taken over by the bitter, furious rage that was fueling my veins.

"How long has this been going on, Nancy?" I turn to her, keeping my distance.

"How long has what be-"

"Stop with the bullshit! How long has this been going on?" My voice was loud enough for me to hear it echoing off the walls in the other rooms.

"About a year now," she said with much nonchalance.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing right now. I wanted to take my anger out on her, but I couldn't. Instead, I went into my closet and grabbed the suitcase at the bottom and put it on the bed, far away from her. I didn't even care to fold anything, it didn't matter since I didn't have much clothes.

I packed every single thing that belonged to me without looking at her once. When I was alone in my car that night, I kept thinking to myself. The sudden realization came to me: I knew that child wasn't mine. She's just finding out she's pregnant, I saw the positive pregnancy test on her nightstand before I left. Nancy and I hadn't had sex in two and a half months when that happened.

I had to start new, I was broken. I was tired, but at least I had somewhere to go.

And now I'm here, a waiter four years later because I decided to be young and dumb.

"Hello, my name is Russell and I'll be serving you today. Can I start you off with any drinks?"

I look over to the woman first. My uncle always told me to look for the woman's answer first, you know, because it's only right if you do.

"Water's fine for me, thank you," she smiles kindly. A pretty woman, probably in her late thirties. Dark brown hair and grey eyes. She reminds me of my mother for some reason, I don't know, maybe it was the hair.

I look over to the man, "and you, Sir?"

"I'll take a water as well," he answers. I scribble their drinks on my notepad and stuff it into the little pocket on my waitress apron.

"Okay, I will be right out with those drinks," I smile at the both of them before turning around and heading to the kitchen.

We aren't really busy on Monday nights which is an absolute blessing. Any other day, the entire restaurant is filled. I go in the back to the kitchen. The heat automatically slaps my face as soon as I swing open the door. I grab some clean glasses from the dishwasher and go to the water dispenser where I fill up the glasses with cold water.

I head back out to hand the couple their drinks. I tell them that I'll give them a few more moments before they order and I go back inside the kitchen where my uncle Ed is standing. He owns this place. I lived with him for a while after Nancy and I had broken up. He was looking around, making sure everyone was doing their jobs.

I see Jane working her magic with the wok as sweat beads drip down her forehead. She came to work ready, her black hair bunched into a hat would make you think she had no hair at all. I would go say hi, but she seems busy. She's one of two of my best friends. I practically grew up with her. Everyone always wondered why we had never dated and the answer's simple: I'm just not into her. I've always seen her as a sister and she isn't my type. I've never been attracted to her.

"Hey," he said, "how ya been feelin'?"

"Eh, I'm getting by, you know?" I answer. He knows about me giving up on love and pretty much everything else.

Saying goodbye to love once and for all wasn't that hard for me, it was just the heartbreak and pain that came with it that was hard. The true pain and agony was unbearable because you've put in so much time, but your other half put in nothing but disloyalty.

Just to think, I could've been doing something with my life. I would've graduated college a year ago and probably would've had a decent-paying job. But you know, I blew all that away because I was young and dumb.

"Look, I know that you're not down for the dating scene and all, but my friend Marie's daughter is having a huge masquerade birthday party at her mansion. I heard there's going to be a lot of people. She said you could go if you'd like. Y'know, her daughter's around your age," he nudges my arm.

I sigh with annoyance and I glance at him, "Parties aren't really for me, Uncle Ed and it's such late noti-"

"Russell, please. Just listen. You need to get out and enjoy your life. You're only twenty-three. When you get to become my age, you're going to regret not taking up opportunities like this. You can take Mike with you. C'mon, Rus."

Mike, he's my other best friend. I've known him since birth, literally. Our parents bonded while they were leaving the hospital. Mike and I are only a few days apart. I'm older than him by just three days. You can guess that our mothers talked up a storm and because of their bonding, Mike and I had been friends since.

I let a loud, irritated grunt. Loud enough to get Jane's attention.

"Stop complaining you little brat and just go," she yells over at me without averting her eyes from the wok. "You need to get outside and enjoy life."

"Thanks for your input, Jane. I really needed it," I say with much sarcasm.

"No problem, Mr. Complains-all-day."

I do think I should get outside more. Sleeping all day in my apartment until it's time for work really isn't fun.

After moments of contemplating, I turn to my uncle, "Alright, I guess. I'll go, but I won't enjoy it."

I walk out of the kitchen and go back to the couple who is now ready to order.