Please take me back to the day we met (newtmas)

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POV Newt
I can't keep it a secret that I am infected any longer. At least he needs to know but I haven't found the right moment (if this moment exists) yet. Tommy and I had our little fight and now I sit on the rooftop, feeling guilty and like I'm a looser. I shouted at him for no reason... he will never forgive me for that. But then the door opens and Thomas comes next to me. Maybe he just wants to tell me what a horrible person I am. "Newt? Are you okay?", he asks. Okay I didn't expect this. "Yeah kind of. But I think I can't hide this any longer." I pulled up my sleeve. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Minho is more important Tommy", I said. "We'll find a solution Newt. You will be cured soon", Thomas said with little tears in his eyes and then he sits down next to me. "Can you please take me back to the day we met... you wouldn't be infected. If I've never ran into the maze everything would be fine." "Please don't say that Tommy. We would be dead by now if we still were at that glade." He puts his head on my shoulder and I smile a little bit. God I love that boy. "Thanks Newt but we'll definitely find a way to heal you. I promise." I just say nothing. After a while we go back to the others. I need to talk to somebody else. "Brenda? Can we talk real quick?", I ask and she nods. We both go to another room. Thomas is definitely going to tell the others I'm infected but that's okay. I just wanted him to know it from me. "Okay Brenda", I start and tell her what I told Tommy before. "I know that I won't make it. There is no hope... the only thing that keeps me going is Thomas." "You really love him huh?", she asks and I just nod. "I just don't have the courage to tell him... but I will. Not face to face but before I die I'll give him a letter where I tell him that I love him." "That sounds cute. Thank you that you told me", she said and smiles a bit. "I kinda trust you and please promise you won't tell anyone that I love him. Especially not Thomas himself. I trust you Brenda." "I promise I won't tell anyone", she said and we went back to the others. They look at me pitiful. I sight. He told them. "I'm fine guys. Don't worry." Thomas looks really sad and guilty. "Tommy don't worry. I'm really fine and it's definitely not your fault", I tried to comfort him and then he just comes to me and hugs me. I'm a bit confused and a little bit overwhelmed but I hugged him back. "I can't loose you too... I need you Newt." I turned a bit red but I think nobody saw it. "You won't lose me Tommy... you won't lose me", I said just to comfort him. Deep inside of me I know that he will lose me, that I will lose myself to this virus. But it hurts so much when I see, that Thomas is sad. He is the reason I keep going.