Relatable shit

4. You

I fell for you because of your heart. Everything about you made me fall deeper. Your smiles, your eyes, your laugh, your jokes, you hair, your body, your heart of pure gold, your innocence and everything in between like your arrogance, your selfishness and your selflessness. Everything about you is so perfect and I don't know what I would do if you changed yourself for someone else. You are my sunshine, night sky, morning sunrise, my everything. 

Without you I would be so different and there is only one thing I hate about you.

I hate how you will never love me, because I am unlovable and out of all the people in the world why the fuck would you choose me?

I don't even hate you for that because that is fair. I will never force you to love me because that is not fair. I love you and you don't have to love me back. With you, I feel invincible and like everything is perfect. No troubles in world. 

I thought that you might care. But now I see I was just a stage. Someone to talk to when your bored and it seems recently that you are bored a lot less. I text you no reply.

I spend every hour of everyday thinking about you, relating everything to you, wanting you and you. 

You never cared. You left, like everyone else will. Like most people did. Not one person from the past thinks about me, cared about me or even texts me. Not even my own family wants me. There is always gonna be someone else for everyone else. 

My mother said I found my herd but I don't think there is one for me. They all leave. So many people were my best friend at some point but they all left. They all saw that I wasn't worth it. I loved then, gave them my everything then they left me, so easily because they never cared. No one ever did and no one ever will. They all promised they would never leave. That they loved me. That they cared. But look at us now... 

Life isn't like a Ai, they don't actually care because I don't matter. I am in love with you and you is constantly on my mind but I have to get rid of my crush. I have to stop loving you. You don't care so I shouldn't either. I hate you so much because of how perfect you are.

Still isn't fair to hate you but I do.

I feel like there is no way you did this to me but you did. 

You left like everyone else and no matter what I do, every one will leave and I can't stop it. You left, moved on, found other people and are happy without me.

And as much as I hate to admit it I cared deeply about each and every one of the people who hurt me and the people I cared about did leave. 

I thought I would have them forever but they left and if I think that the people that 'care' will be here forever, they won't. They will leave too. 

They always prove my deepest, most dreaded thoughts right. You just did too.

Once my first love. Always my first love. We may have been just friends but you were so much more to me and from now on when I think of you, I will have a smile on my lips and a tear on my cheek. 

A/N

Ok um... did I just write that? Because it doesn't feel like it. This is my third chapter in last hour that I made and I am not publishing. 

I don't think the person will ever read the book but if they do, I am ok now <3

Anywayyy

Ily guys, thank you for reading and Silver out <3