(AUTHORS NOTE: Hey! This is Mod Noah from the Underworld Park tumblr here to say that this is 100% NOT SERIOUS OR SEXUAL IN ANY WAY and if any of you try to precive it as such then I will bust your kneecaps, even though all characters in Hellpark/Underworld park are 18+ its weird to sexualize them cuz is in South Park they are still kids. I just made the story purely on impulse, I wasn't even gonna post it until my friend said I should and I just my friends' judgement. ALSO ALSO the humor is purely satire and all slurs we can reclaim, please enjoy! :o)) )
I look outside the window of the moving van, all of our shit in the back of it, bouncing around erratically as we hit constant speed bumps due to the shitty Oklahoma road. I jump up every few seconds due to all the speed bumps, we're all on the way to the shitass town of Colorado. All I know about it is that it's always snowing and smells of farm, which, if you've never been on a farm, reeks of animal shit
I tie back my blonde- I mean orange- I mean brown- I mean black- I mean unnaturally dyed I mean-
....
Fuck I don't even know I haven't seen a mirror in years I forgot what I looked like, I should probably see a therapist for that? But whatever, I blinked my brown- I mean- blue- I mean green- I mean gray- I mean unnaturally colored- I mean-
FUCK!!!!
After several hours, I passed out on the floor of the moving van. In hindsight, that was probably a horrible idea. But I slept good, so who the fuck cares? My Dad comes up to the moving van and swings open the doors, hauling out all the luggage while I'm still asleep, I think he forgot I was there again. That happens a lot
When he realizes that I'm asleep, he doesn't bother to wake me up, he just leaves me in the van until I wake up. I looked around in the dark van confused, I thought I got kidnapped or something? But nah, we just came to our new house. I hop out of the van and go up into my room, immediately flopping onto the bed. Im fucking tired
The next morning, I get up, throw on the first few clothes I see, tie up- i mean keep it down- i mean- i'm bald- what?, anyways- i walk out the door with my schoolbag. I'll just take the school's sub par lunch, I forgot how to make a sandwich right. I go to the bus stop and see....I don't even know at this point. A dude who looked like a hottopics neon collection threw up on him, and the most average man I've ever fucking seen in my life.
Then I see....
...
...
...
...
What the fuck
I just see some dude trying to set up his phone to do a TikTok dance, the other two annoyed with him. The neon pissboy groaned loud enough for me to hear. I take out my phone from my front pocket, it has a real plain case, just like me frfr, I stick in my earbuds, open spotify, and blast Doja Cat in my ears. I look down and don't pay any attention, I don't wanna talk to these fucking faggots. I bet two of them are dating or something, no straight person dresses in that bright of colors unless they are like- five years old.
I stand next to the only normal looking person at the bus stop, which leaves me uncomfortably close to the Tik Toker. Fucking kill me now. I can barely hear my Doja Cat with his ass blasting fucking-
sEeInG yOu ToNiGhT, iTs A bAd IdEa RiGhT
sEeInG yOu ToNiGhT, iTs A bAd IdEa RiGhT
sEeInG yOu ToNiGhT, iTs A bAd IdEa RiGhT
sEeInG yOu ToNiGhT, iTs A bAd IdEa RiGhT
sEeInG yOu ToNiGhT
fUcK iT iTs FiNe
Man if I could throw his phone to the snow and step on it and smash it into millions of pieces, I would
...
I might actually do it. Mr. Normal Ass looks over to me, noticing the DO NOT TALK TO ME signal of my headphones being jammed so far into my ears my earwax may as well be gluing them in. Doja Cat is invading my fucking brain, just how I like it. His gay ass queer ass faggot ass boyfriend doesn't notice though, and immediately tries to talk to me
"Hey"
"Hey"
"Hey"
"Hey"
"Hey"
"Hey!!"
"HEY!!"
"CLYDE SHUT THE FUCK UP SMH IM TRYING TO RECORD A TIKTOK THIS IS NOT A SLAY 😠😠!!!"
I hear the Tik Toker yelling, looking at this supposed 'Clyde'.....did....did he just fucking say those emojis out loud. Clyde pouts, sniffling like a little baby
"But I wanna see if they like Nightcoooooreeee"
"NOBODY LIKES YOUR SHIT ASS NIGHTCORE, FAGGOT!!"
"FUCK YOU!!"
"FUCK YOU!!!"
I stand In the middle of this dumbass fucking argument, turning up my airpods more. Now I'm serenaded by the sound of Aint Shit by Doja Cat, mumbling the lyrics to myself, not even realizing I'm loudly singing the lyrics to the point where the other three can CLEARLY hear me. The normal looking one turns to me and rolls his eyes
"Oh god there's two of them.."
"Smh my fucking head Tolkien Doja Cat literally slays...GO BESTIE GO!!"
"I'm gonna kill you one day Craig"
"No you won't 💀 my swag makes me immortal"
"Die. Die a horrible death"
" 💀 💀 💀"
I can still hear some of their conversation still, I'm ignoring it for the most part, I don't listen to people, only Doja. If she says kill yourself...YES MA'AM I WILLLLLL
The bus pulls out and everyone gets on, I'm still jamming out to Doja Cat on the bus, I honestly dont give a fuck about these people. I don't see anyone going to sit next to me, which is a HUGE win. Until I hear....
"Heyyyy"
I open my eyes and take out an airpod, its that supreme fucker
Oh hell no
YOU ARE READING
"I fucking hate you" (A Craigfluencer x Reader fanfiction)
HumorI made this for silly stupid reason, my friend is making me post this send help
