It's Murder at the Buy-Right

6

Daisy Ann stood in front of the mirror for the seventh time that morning. Why had she ever listened to her younger sister, Imogene? She knew better. Way better. But that little girl enthusiasm that she bubbled over with got Daisy Ann every time. Daisy Ann just shook her head.

Like the time her little sister begged her to let her ride that new bike. It was Daisy Ann's birthday, and she'd dreamed of that banana seat high-handle-bar beauty for months.

Snow-white tires and iridescent pink paint with glitter.

That bike was a sight to behold. And her little sister had coveted it from the moment it arrived with Daisy Ann's name on it.

"Let me ride it! Come on! Let me, Daisy Ann."

Imogene was not going to rest until her little bottom had christened that banana seat. After hours of putting up with the brat's whining and badgering, Daisy Ann relented.

"But only if I double with you," she'd said.

"Okay," said the angelic, smiling face.

The two girls had hopped on the banana seat and off they went. Imogene was wobbly, but when she got her cycle legs, she took off like a flash.

"Watch out!" Daisy Ann yelled.

A large tortoise was lumbering across the dirt road.

Her little sister had good reflexes, Daisy Ann thought. The bicycle swerved left just in time, and the turtle continued to lope along without harm.

The only trouble with Imogene's reflexes, as far as Daisy Ann could see, was that they tended to get stuck once a decision was made.

The little girl failed to swerve back on the dirt path, preferring instead to let the bike careen down the grassy hill. Bumping and bouncing and quickly gaining speed, Daisy Ann held on for all she was worth.

"Watch out!" she yelled again.

But it was too late. The bike was a torpedo of motion, and once it had set its course, nothing could stop it.

Daisy Ann's legs were angled straight out. The pedals were spinning so quickly that Imogene's were too. The bicycle and riders looked like a rolling insect – minus two legs.

"Whooah!" Daisy Ann screamed.

Splash!

Right into the muddy farm pond the bike rolled. The momentum threw the two little girls right over the handle bars as both wheels sunk in the soft, deep red mud.

Daisy Ann's head popped up. So did her little sister's. They were sputtering and coughing and covered in orange mud and water.

A frog sat atop Daisy Ann's head.

Her little sister burst out laughing.

There was nothing to do but crawl out of the muck and roll the bike up to the house. The hose pipe squirted a strong stream of crystal clear water, but it seemed no amount of soap and scrubbing could ever restore that iridescent beauty's luster. 

For as long as she owned that bike, the wheels retained their muddy orange glow, and Daisy Ann swore that mud baths were murder on bicycle chains.

And now, as she stood there in shock, she realized her little sister had done it to her again.

She'd never learn.

"Come on, Sis," Imogene had said. "Just let me clean those closets out for you. You'll thank me. I promise."

Gung ho for anything that involved the word clean, Daisy Ann hired Iggi, as she called her, on the spot.

"Your operator's license still good?" Daisy Ann asked her sister.

"What are you talking about?"

"I've thought seriously about renting a bulldozer and shoving this end of the house down in the gulley. Starting over. You know. I mean, sometimes that seems the easiest way to really do it right." Daisy had said and laughed.

It was only a joke.

Never in her wildest dreams did Daisy Ann think Iggi would take her at her word. But that's exactly what she had done. 

Iggi cleaned out all of Daisy Ann's clothes and donated them to the local Be a Good Samaritan Clothes Closet. When she arrived home from the grocery store, there was Iggi at the door smiling like a razor slit her face.

Scorched earth.

Those were the two words that came to Daisy Ann's mind as she looked at the four bare walls that were once crammed with clothes. Oh, to give Iggi her due, the walls were sparkling, but they sure looked lonesome and naked.

Was it revenge for some childhood slight that Daisy Ann had committed against Iggi?

She was too shocked to speak and too enraged to cry.

"I knew you'd be pleased. It really is breathtaking the amount of work you can get done once you set your mind to the task! I am soooo proud of myself."

Daisy Ann swayed.

"Those old rags have needed to go for years. Just think! Now, you'll be sporting a whole new wardrobe! You'll be the talk of summer chic! And best of all, you get a tax write off, too! Here's the receipt. Don't lose it."

"I'll be the talk, alright," Daisy Ann said, trying hard to keep her voice several notches below the screeching decibels that were clawing to escape her throat.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Sis, I'll be the talk of the town when I walk around in my birthday suit. I better invest in a lot of sun block. I'm gonna need it."

The smile disappeared for Iggi's face.

"Oh, Daisy Ann, I thought you wanted me to help you."

"Help me get rid of a few things," she said. "Not separate me from every thread I own."

"But all that stuff was tacky. It was old. Outdated. You said yourself that some of it came over with the ark."

"I know what I said. But I was only joking."

Daisy Ann stared at the cavernous emptiness.

"Iggi, what am I going to wear to work, tomorrow?"

Her baby sister looked as if she was going to cry.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I know what I'll do!"

Daisy Ann was rummaging through her purse. She grabbed the car keys that were hiding in the dark recesses where lint and odd change lived.

"Where are you going?" asked Iggi.

"To the Dollar Store," said Daisy Ann. "Tell me the truth, Ig. Do I look like a little yellow biddy to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'll be feeling like one, that's for dang sure! Outta my way! This chick's going to work on summer chic by going cheep, cheep, cheep!"

"But Daisy Ann!"

"Don't 'but Daisy Ann' me. You're the one who left me naked as the day I was born."

"Does this mean you're not going to pay me?"

"Of course, I'm going to pay you. I get a tax write off, remember? And I'm going to grace you this Sunday at church by sitting beside you in my latest fashion statement – a shoestring sundress and paper bag sandals."

"Oh, you will not."

"You just wait and see, baby girl. It took me years to accumulate that stuff. What am I going to do, Iggi? I work at the BUY-RIGHT, remember? Maybe, I'll go back to the Good Samaritan and buy back all my stuff."

"You can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"The IRS will burn you."

Daisy Ann took the crumpled paper. She held it up to her chest.

"Do you think this shade of blue matches my eyes?"

"Get out of here!"

"You're right," said Daisy Ann. "The Dollar Store closes soon!"