It's Murder at the Buy-Right

15

"Henry," said Daisy Ann, "you finally eat up your supply of potted meat? It's been awhile."

"Yeah, it has."

Henry walked passed the cashier to the back of the store. He left a few minutes later.

"Asked me for a job," Deke said, in response to the questioning look on Daisy Ann's face. "Had to turn him down. My bottom line won't let me take on another employee."

The door opened.

"Gimme a bag of ice and some cookin' twine."

It was Orell Ziglar.

"Decided to take matters into your own hands, Orell?"

"Yeah, Daisy Ann. It's passed high time for action. This rotten molar's seen its last day of tormentin' my soul. All I need's a sturdy door frame, a good solid door, and a door knob. It's either pull the dad-gum thing or put Gertrude out of my misery."

"Your misery? I don't quite follow," she said.

"If I don't pull this thing, I'm gonna go deef  from Trudy's naggin'."

"Oh," said Daisy Ann. "Your total's five fifty-three."

"And well worth every nickel if this works," Orell said.

"You been riding misery's train for a long time," said Daisy Ann.

Just then the Bodine trolls burst through the door as shouts of their mother's dire warnings followed them inside.

"Humph," said Orell. "Look's like them chaps done gone deef, too. Shame. Don't you think? Them bein' so little."

"Uh-huh. Orell, I sure hope this fixes your aching tooth."

"Me, too. See you later, Daisy Ann. And batten down the hatches. Them boys is worse than a gulley washer on a new corn field."

"I hear ya," she said.

A loud crash and the sound of splintering glass ripped through the store.

"Uh-oh," she said.

"Sounds like a big mess," said Orell.

"With them three, there ain't any other kind. I've tried to get Deke to nail up three ten-penny nails over on that wall over yonder. I'd gladly scoop them fellers up and hang 'em up by their collars until their mama finishes shopping. Must be contagious, Orell. Deke's gone deef to my nagging, too."

Deke threatened to charge the boys for everything they'd broken.

"I ought a make your mama hand over your allowances for the next thirty years!"

The boys just laughed.

Nell said that would be a hard thing to do since they didn't get one.

She offered to pay for the broken items, but Deke told her she was too good a customer to charge for her boys' offenses.

It was hours before Tex and Grit would clock in. That left Daisy Ann to handle the mop and broom.

Seven huge jars of sweet pickles and two jars of dill.

Why couldn't those three have gone berserk on the feminine hygiene aisle? None of that stuff was packaged in glass and sticky syrup.

Daisy Ann shook her head and made clucking noises in her throat. She had a mop and a bucket and a broom and a dustpan, but to her eyes, it definitely looked as if some heavy-duty industrial cleaning machinery was in order.

"Looks like a statewide pickle juice spill, if you want my opinion," she muttered. "Call out FEMA. This is a disaster of phenomenal proportions! Shoot, just look at this mess! It'll take me hours to clean it up! Can't possibly be a cucumber left in the state that ain't lying on this floor!"