It's Murder at the Buy-Right

25

 Daisy Ann recited what she remembered.

"I was rattled. I can't repeat what was said word for word, but you get the gist. And I'm scared, Ig. Really scared. It was a weird voice. It sounded like it was laughing while it talked. I dunno."

"Was it a man?"

"I guess."

"What do you mean you guess? Oh, for goodness sake!"

"It was something like Papa Bear's sleeping. And he's not waking up. You're next!"

Iggi was white with fear.

"It looks like an elephant stepped on it," Iggi said, as Daisy Ann fiddled with her cell phone.

"I dropped it, and it hit the chrome table."

"Let me see it," Iggi said. "You know if anything is more techie than a string and two tin cans, you're lost."

"You said that right. Here. You're welcome to it," Daisy Ann said, handing over the broken phone.

"It still works," she said. "But it is a whole lot worse for the wear."

Iggi messed with the cell for a minute.

"Well, I'll be," she said.

"Call the cops. Do you know who it is?"

"Daisy Ann," said Iggi, "you're running that new 'Can U Solve the Mystery Goldilocks' app."

"I am? So what. Who cares? Call Monroe Willis. Tell him to get his scrawny tail over here and arrest whoever called me."

"I'll do no such thing."

"What do you mean you'll do no such thing? I thought you loved me!"

"I do love you. Don't be absurd."

"If you did, you call the sheriff. What's wrong with you, Iggi? Do you want to see me end up as just another frozen food display at the Buy-Right? We seem to be adding to our inventory of dead or near-dead everyday!"

"Oh, stop that," Iggi said. "That's a horrible thing to say. Listen to me. Daisy Ann, you've got to calm down."

"Easy for you to say," she said. "You don't have a killer breathing down your neck."

Daisy Ann looked as if she was going to jump out of her skin. Her cheeks were flushed. She could not be still.

"Didn't you hear what I just said? Nobody is threatening you. You're running the Mystery Goldilocks app?"

"Why should I care what app I'm running? Like you said, I'm not techno-savvy. Besides, I'm apt to go ape in a couple of seconds, Iggi. I'm not kidding. Just say 'boo' and watch me scream like a lunatic!"

Daisy Ann's eyes looked like white saucers.

"I've got a maniac who's going to put out my lights, and you stand there like an idiot talking about phone apps! Deke's attacker could be waiting outside right now! He could shoot through the window and snuff me out in a heartbeat!"

"You've been watching too many late night classic movies, Daisy Ann. The Mystery Goldilocks app is the latest craze.

You get so many phone calls, legit ones, from me or Vern or whoever.

Say it's four.

Then, for the fifth call, you get this mystery voice that calls and gives you some kind of weird call or clue. Some are true. Some are false leads. It's your job to remember all those clues and figure out the mystery.

It can be a murder mystery, a robbery, a bunch of stolen love letters.

Any thing that takes clues to figure out.

And if you do, Goldilocks awards you a prize! Porridge, a new recliner, a new mattress."

"That's sick," said Daisy Ann.

"Maybe," said Iggi. "But you're always punching buttons on that thing and not paying attention. You've activated it. It's easy to do. Everyone's downloading it. It's hotter than a bottle of Deaver Buckley's red hot chili sauce."

"I am too. Mad as fire, Iggi. That thing scared me to death! Speaking of that, who could have had it in for Deke?" Daisy Ann asked. "He's been acting funny, lately. Secretive. Real quiet. Always rushing out on mysterious business."

"I don't know. It really is like something you see in the movies, if you think about it. It's like a mafia hit. Some dark message like 'stay off our turf, or we'll put you on ice.'"

"Iggi!"

"Sorry. But you know what I'm trying to say. Deke's got that snake tattoo. He retired from the military. Was he involved in some kind of Special Ops or spy thing when he was in service?" Iggi asked.

"If he was, he never talked about it."

"Of course, he wouldn't," said Iggi. "I mean if something's top secret, it's kept under the rug."

"Four against one," mumbled Daisy Ann.

"What?"

"That night Deke confronted the riffraff in the parking lot. There was a bunch of punks. He ran out and most of them ran off. But four stayed to fight. Deke looked terrible, but he told me he gave those four a run for their money.

If he looked like mud, those punks looked worse. He was bragging about it. I thought it was a bunch of bull, but maybe he was serious. Maybe, he really was that outnumbered and still came out on top."

"Maybe it was some kind of espionage assassination."

"Here! At the Buy-Right!" Daisy Ann said.

"Well," said Iggi, "anything's possible."

"So's snow in July. But have you ever heard of it happening around here. Not when the temp's two hundred degrees. A fierce thunderstorm, maybe. But what you're suggesting is ridiculous."

"I'm just throwing out possibilities, Daisy Ann. I didn't mean to suggest it's the Gospel."

"But if he did kick those four punks' tails, maybe they came back to make him pay. You know," said Daisy Ann, "maybe with a lot more of their friends."

"But how would they know Deke was in the store at that particular moment?"

"Good question. I have no idea."